My Declaration of Independence

[Casualfanboy16]

3 hours ago, older said:

I think that a certain amount of suffering is good for one's development.

Yeah I certainly need to suffer a bit more. My character development isn't over.

[Casualfanboy16]

1 hour ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

Yeah I certainly need to suffer a bit more. My character development isn't over.

Speaking of suffering. I'm just kind of lost right now with everything. I keep being told by family and friends (but mostly family) that college of any sort isn't worth it unless you know what you want to do because you're just wasting thousands of dollars on it; but from here, I've learned that isn't the case.

 

I just got home and I'm trying to rest up, but I gotta take a look at Gen Ed's now because I heard from @older that I should try and get those out of the way before diving into my major. Not sure what Gen Ed's to take either. I don't even know what I want to major in tbh.

 

Programming and such piques my interest, but how long will this high of discovering something new last? I don't know. I love technology, but then I have to figure out what to do with that. Could I go into computer repair? Game development? Website design? The curse of having to many options to choose from while people are telling me it's not even worth going to college for is obnoxious. At this point, I'd rather be in debt and be happy I did something than miserable at the fact I didn't even try because people keep trying to sway my decision making. It's actually very frustrating. This entire process of trying to live is frustrating, but I find the fact that everyone in my real life, especially my family, is telling me this isn't worth it and it's rather irritating.

 

As @older said: A certain amount of suffering is good for one's development... so I might as well suffer. I want to struggle. Isn't that the point? I want to find myself. I don't care if I switch a bunch of times. I want to take a risk here. I'm tired of my family telling me it's not worth it. What if it is? I don't know what I want to do, but I want to suffer so I can truly live. Maybe that's a slightly fucked up way of looking at it, but at this point I think leaving this town behind might be worthwhile.

 

I could get an apartment close to a community college and such, or I could live at home if it's close enough. If I decide it sucks and go in debt, at least I can say I did something. I just don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going or what the point of anything is, but I want to suffer. I need to suffer. I need to do something to get out of my comfort zone. Idk what to do as far as Gen Ed's go. I know jackshit about community college or college in general because I haven't considered this until recently. I'm like entirely lost on everything and I feel like my entire life is just going in circles, but I feel like if I can make the jump to community college for whatever it is, then I can live, at least a bit. I'm hopefully not being pessimistic in tone, this is moreso my messed up form of determination. Idk what to call it, but community college is looking really good right now. I just need to figure out what I can major in or what Gen Ed's I can take or even which one I wanna go to.

[☆ DarkBishop ☆]

On 7/13/2024 at 3:28 PM, freshstart said:

As a college prof, I may be a little biased here, but picking up some "general education" courses (generally required by all colleges) wouldn't necessarily be a waste of time. These are typically prerequisite courses for ANY major (stuff like introductory level psychology, sociology, math, history, etc.). By taking this course work, you expose yourself to other students and professors from different walks of life and you learn about the paths that others are taking. You can also try taking a course you normally wouldn't find "useful," but seems appealing. Stepping outside the proverbial box sometimes reveals new possibilities. Best of luck to you!

But you really need to understand casual first. He has his own issues to deal with. With the split hemispheres and all. It's not like you are talking to someone who doesn’t have something to deal with.... like a disability. Which casual does. 

 

I've been working with him for Over a year and have seen that when multiple decisions are laid out before him. It's hard to decide. I deal with this in a minor way with my ADHD. 

 

So I feel if casual is to go into college he needs to do it with a focus in mind. Something he can work toward. 

 

Don't get me wrong. I respect your professional opinion for someone not dealing with a handicap. But all of my kids have handicaps. Whether it be ADHD or high functioning autism. I tell them to work around and with their disabilities. But to recognize they are there. 

[◊ Weezer ◊]

4 minutes ago, DarkBishop said:

 

So I feel if casual is to go into college he needs to do it with a focus in mind. Something he can work toward. 

 

If I waited  until I knew exactly what I wanted to do when starting college, I never would have started.   When you get there, you are exposed to options you never dreamed of.  Why not just take one course in something you are kinda interested in, and see what comes of it?  And make some new friends in the process.  With his sheltered background, he desperately needs to see the much larger world.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

Also, face to face college interaction serves more than just learning how to make more money.  You learn social skills which is despertely needed in todays world of phones and computers.  Especially for those home schooled, or "Christian" schooled.   It is a way to "expand your horizions."

[◊ Weezer ◊]

6 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

Yeah I certainly need to suffer a bit more. My character development isn't over.

Sorry for the laughing face reply.  I thought you were joking.  When I think of character development through suffering, I think of having to go into the military.  I DID NOT want to go, but darned if it wasn't one of the best experiences of my life in some ways.  It made me appreciate what I had back at home,  and opened my eyes to what was out in the world.   Another example was losing a job in a manner I thought was unfair.  I thought my life was ruined.  But with a little hustling, the job that opend up for me was at a higher pay, and better working conditions.  Some of the "suffering" we put on ourselves actually turns out as a benefit.

 

 

[Casualfanboy16]

10 minutes ago, Weezer said:

Sorry for the laughing face reply.  I thought you were joking.  When I think of character development through suffering, I think of having to go into the military.  I DID NOT want to go, but darned if it wasn't one of the best experiences of my life in some ways.  It made me appreciate what I had back at home,  and opened my eyes to what was out in the world.   Another example was losing a job in a manner I thought was unfair.  I thought my life was ruined.  But with a little hustling, the job that opend up for me was at a higher pay, and better working conditions.  Some of the "suffering" we put on ourselves actually turns out as a benefit.

 

 

I was kind of joking. I mean it wasn't a good joke. More like a self-deprecating joke, but yeah.

 

I feel like I need to say something. I do agree with what DB has to say, but I also agree with what you have to say as well. Making decisions for me can be overwhelming, especially with like the whole brain thing, and just general anxiety, pessimistic attitude, and self-deprecation getting in the way. It's a lot.

 

I tried bringing up the whole community college stuff with my sister and pretty much everyone in my family is saying it's a bad idea because going to college of any sort just to sample stuff without any real direction feels like a waste of money. Besides, I don't really have a focus in mind, and like DB said, I should have that focus. He's right, but I get where you're coming from with the whole expanding my horizons stuff.

 

Like, I'd feel more comfortable with the idea of community college if I had one or two things to invest time in, but the truth is, I don't really have even one thing. I think part of my decision making process was blinded by my desperation to escape out from under my roof. I don't want to play it safe, but I do understand trying to give me some kind of push.

 

I talked with DB, and he brought up if there were any sort of apartments in my immediate area I could rent near my current job. I checked some out. I might have to still find a roommate though. I do want to get out from under my parent's roof, and that could be an easier way to make a sort of "baby step" (okay that's more like a big step, but you get what I mean) towards independence. It's still my own place, and I could then go wherever I wanted without my parents questioning me about it. I still plan on giving the speech though. Don't worry.

 

I'm sorry I'm like kinda tired and am about to hit the hay, so I'm not 100% coherent or awake right now, but I hope I'm not being stubborn or something idk. I hope you understand. I'll respond to replies tomorrow.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

You have lots of info to think about.  If getting out of your parents house is your top priotity, go for it.   Will you have enough money left over from your paycheck to do some things you want to do?  Keep us posted.

[Casualfanboy16]

6 hours ago, Weezer said:

You have lots of info to think about.  If getting out of your parents house is your top priotity, go for it.   Will you have enough money left over from your paycheck to do some things you want to do?  Keep us posted.

I do have lots on info to think about. You're right about that. I'm still doing apartment hunting for anywhere near my job. I theoretically would have enough, but I feel like finding a roommate or two, and an apartment that could house more than one at a price I could manage, would be a good course of action. Who knows. I might have to work two jobs if rent is gonna suck that bad.

 

Then there comes the issue of seeing if the apartment needs certain furniture and such in case it doesn't have any. I figure when it's all said and done I might be knocked down a bit in terms of money. Overall, I think it'd be best to save up what I think would be enough, while searching for a roommate or two so I could cut down on rent cost. Although groceries and such would then go up with more people around. Damn. I gotta bit to think about lol. I'll try to think of more things that I gotta think of throughout the day. If you got any advice though on that, I would appreciate it. I don't want to be underprepared.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

I definitely have advice about sharing food expenses and preparing meals with roommates.  Don’t do it!!  I tried that 4 times with 4 different groups and it never worked out. Someone was a slacker, or forgot it was their turn to cook, etc.  or ate twice as much food, but wanted to share expenses evenly.  There were also squabbles about cleaning up the place.  But, hey!  That’s life. 

[freshstart]

On 7/14/2024 at 9:41 PM, DarkBishop said:

But you really need to understand casual first. He has his own issues to deal with. With the split hemispheres and all. It's not like you are talking to someone who doesn’t have something to deal with.... like a disability. Which casual does. 

I respect your opinion, DB.

 

And @Casualfanboy16, I certainly hope I didn't come off as suggesting that I know what is right for you.  I understand that choices can be overwhelming.  I also work with students who have disabilities and challenges of all sorts (autism, learning disabilities, physical disabilities, mental health issues, homelessness, financial issues, traumatic experiences, deaths of loved ones, poor preparation in high school, you name it).  For some of them it is quite a struggle getting through rigorous course work, especially some of the harder sciences, but most of them persevere with support from friends, family, and professors.  I'm not suggesting to rush into anything, but I do (respectfully) disagree that it is essential to focus on something before you start your education.  Even if you DO focus on something, at least 30% of students who choose a particular path end up doing something different anyway.  That was certainly the case for me.  I just KNEW what I wanted to do from the time I was 12 years old and I had all my plans laid out.  Then after the first year of college, I changed my mind.  As Weezer suggested, taking even just one course and exposing yourself to other students may help to broaden your mind, get to know other people, and allow for some possibilities that you might not have otherwise considered.  And, as mentioned earlier, there are certain courses pretty much required by ALL majors and transferrable anywhere:  English, History, Psychology, Sociology, etc. You can often take these courses without matriculating. Again, in my humble opinion, none of these introductory courses would be a waste of time.  But ultimately, if moving out of home is your top priority, and you would only feel comfortable until you have a plan in mind, that is, of course, up to you.  I'll add here that a LOT of students in college, especially community colleges or post-graduate level, are older.  (My oldest student graduated at 62, a second career!)  So its very common to start doing something different later in life - if that is the path you choose.  Anyway, again, best of luck to you!

[Casualfanboy16]

2 hours ago, freshstart said:

I respect your opinion, DB.

 

And @Casualfanboy16, I certainly hope I didn't come off as suggesting that I know what is right for you.  I understand that choices can be overwhelming.  I also work with students who have disabilities and challenges of all sorts (autism, learning disabilities, physical disabilities, mental health issues, homelessness, financial issues, traumatic experiences, deaths of loved ones, poor preparation in high school, you name it).  For some of them it is quite a struggle getting through rigorous course work, especially some of the harder sciences, but most of them persevere with support from friends, family, and professors.  I'm not suggesting to rush into anything, but I do (respectfully) disagree that it is essential to focus on something before you start your education.  Even if you DO focus on something, at least 30% of students who choose a particular path end up doing something different anyway.  That was certainly the case for me.  I just KNEW what I wanted to do from the time I was 12 years old and I had all my plans laid out.  Then after the first year of college, I changed my mind.  As Weezer suggested, taking even just one course and exposing yourself to other students may help to broaden your mind, get to know other people, and allow for some possibilities that you might not have otherwise considered.  And, as mentioned earlier, there are certain courses pretty much required by ALL majors and transferrable anywhere:  English, History, Psychology, Sociology, etc. You can often take these courses without matriculating. Again, in my humble opinion, none of these introductory courses would be a waste of time.  But ultimately, if moving out of home is your top priority, and you would only feel comfortable until you have a plan in mind, that is, of course, up to you.  I'll add here that a LOT of students in college, especially community colleges or post-graduate level, are older.  (My oldest student graduated at 62, a second career!)  So its very common to start doing something different later in life - if that is the path you choose.  Anyway, again, best of luck to you!

Hey, @freshstart! Don't worry! You're good! While I see where you (and others) are coming from, I personally would feel it is my top priority to first move out of the house. I'm still trying to figure things out, and personally, I felt as if I was rushing myself when trying to decide about community college things.

 

I understand everyone's points, but I don't feel like it's wise for me to go right now. I am a person who needs to have some kind of focus to commit to something like that. I felt that what I was doing was grasping at straws and trying to force myself to be interested in something to escape my current situation, rather than going because I was interested in going. I know @Weezer and @older and everyone else wants me to succeed, but if I don't have at least something to focus on, I don't really see a point in doing this at the moment.

 

Maybe once I'm out in the world and away from my parents, I can make that sort of decision. Just not right now. I want to save up and be responsible with my finances and not make decisions on a whim to escape a sucky situation. I won't disregard community college, or other forms of higher education, but right now I feel like I just need more of a way out that would be less financially burdensome and less mentally taxing with all the different paths I could take. Also inflation and such is kinda bad right now, so I hope you understand lmao.

 

This is what I'm hoping for with the whole "Declaration of Independence" I typed up. I'm hoping eventually I can go out and meet others like me, even under my parent's roof. And hey! Maybe I'll get lucky and someone will be in a similar situation as me and we could be roommates!! Who knows. Could get lucky. Just anyone who'd be supportive of my sexuality and would do their fair share of chores and such would be nice to room with. Doesn't necessarily have to be an LGBT person.

 

Again, I will consider pursuing higher education in the future; but right now, I would prefer to make that decision when I'm not looking for a way out of this situation I'm currently in, and instead in a better one.

 

Thanks for your words tho!

[older]

HI Casual: I've been out of town and away from the net for a few days but here are a couple of thoughts:

- As I wrote before, we're just making suggestions. You know your situation better than we do. You've written that your first priority is to move out. And considering what you've written, that looks like a good idea to me. Some physical distance from the pressures would be a big relief. I'd put the word out on your social media that you're looking for a roommate and see what happens. You can always say no if a respondent gives you a bad vibe.

 

- Don't think that college is the only path. I have three grandkids who aren't going and they are doing well. One got a good job a month out of high school, one took a welding class and was hired before the class was over. The third is an activities director at a wrinkle farm and loving it — she gets paid to play games with the geezers. Before that she was a receptionist at a veterinary clinic. Dunno if there is a connection there...   But... if you decide to go, just tell everyone that you're going to major in computer programming. That should end the discussion of whether it's a waste of money or not. (A personal story: In high school my parents insisted I take a certain program. I hated it. It took me two years to figure out that no one was checking to see if I was doing it — not my folks nor the school. So in my senior year I took what I wanted and no one was ever any the wiser. And I still got to wear the funny hat at the end.)

[Casualfanboy16]

On 7/17/2024 at 5:36 PM, older said:

HI Casual: I've been out of town and away from the net for a few days but here are a couple of thoughts:

- As I wrote before, we're just making suggestions. You know your situation better than we do. You've written that your first priority is to move out. And considering what you've written, that looks like a good idea to me. Some physical distance from the pressures would be a big relief. I'd put the word out on your social media that you're looking for a roommate and see what happens. You can always say no if a respondent gives you a bad vibe.

 

- Don't think that college is the only path. I have three grandkids who aren't going and they are doing well. One got a good job a month out of high school, one took a welding class and was hired before the class was over. The third is an activities director at a wrinkle farm and loving it — she gets paid to play games with the geezers. Before that she was a receptionist at a veterinary clinic. Dunno if there is a connection there...   But... if you decide to go, just tell everyone that you're going to major in computer programming. That should end the discussion of whether it's a waste of money or not. (A personal story: In high school my parents insisted I take a certain program. I hated it. It took me two years to figure out that no one was checking to see if I was doing it — not my folks nor the school. So in my senior year I took what I wanted and no one was ever any the wiser. And I still got to wear the funny hat at the end.)

Ah, sorry I forgot to respond to this lol. Been busy with vacation stuff. Yeah. I'm still looking for places to move out to. Definitely need that physical distance from them. I should get the word out, but not 100% sure of the safety of that. Taking a risk would benefit me tho. Keep debating whether it's worth it staying in PA, or if I should get a greater physical distance from them. I'm trying to look into lgbt-friendly areas to live in. Bloomington, Indiana looks kinda cool and it caught my eye, but gotta check other things on this list and other pages first...

 

https://livability.com/topics/love-where-you-live/the-most-lgbtq-friendly-small-cities-2/

 

 

Also loool wrinkle farm. That's a funny name for a retirement home.

 

Addendum: Looking into small cities because they (hopefully) won't be too much for me to handle. I don't like big cities all that much, but small cities at least don't seem too bad. 

 

Also, this one site has a decent amount of rentals in this area...

 

https://www.trulia.com/for_rent/Bloomington,IN/price;a_sort/

[Casualfanboy16]

26 minutes ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

Ah, sorry I forgot to respond to this lol. Been busy with vacation stuff. Yeah. I'm still looking for places to move out to. Definitely need that physical distance from them. I should get the word out, but not 100% sure of the safety of that. Taking a risk would benefit me tho. Keep debating whether it's worth it staying in PA, or if I should get a greater physical distance from them. I'm trying to look into lgbt-friendly areas to live in. Bloomington, Indiana looks kinda cool and it caught my eye, but gotta check other things on this list and other pages first...

 

https://livability.com/topics/love-where-you-live/the-most-lgbtq-friendly-small-cities-2/

 

 

Also loool wrinkle farm. That's a funny name for a retirement home.

 

Addendum: Looking into small cities because they (hopefully) won't be too much for me to handle. I don't like big cities all that much, but small cities at least don't seem too bad. 

 

Also, this one site has a decent amount of rentals in this area...

 

https://www.trulia.com/for_rent/Bloomington,IN/price;a_sort/

Ohhhh now this is promising... very exciting!!

 

https://www.visitbloomington.com/things-to-do/lgbtq/

 

Edit: Natuuuuure!!!!!!!!!!!

 

https://www.visitbloomington.com/things-to-do/forests/hoosier-national-forest/

 

https://www.visitbloomington.com/things-to-do/outdoor-recreation/