At the End of My Rope

[Casualfanboy16]

Lately I've been feeling like I'm reaching the end of my rope when it comes to living with my family and I'm desperately needing a way out. I have been struggling these past few months with trying to find someplace else I could live, like an apartment or something. Rent is pretty high in most of the places I could go, and I have been searching, but I am still running around in circles just to try to find out where to go.

 

I haven't told my family this, because I don't want them to add to the mountain of stress I already have. It's taking a toll on my mental health. I don't even believe in a god, but sometimes I wish for a miracle to happen because my mental health isn't great and I have become rather reclusive from most people. I plan to fix that when I move out because I won't have much to worry about besides all the new responsibilities and decisions I have to make; but anymore I'm more willing to go through that than stay with my family. I love my family, I really do, but anymore I need an out. Hell, the apartment doesn't have to be the best ever. I just need a way out of this.

 

It probably doesn't help that it's a Monday either, so mentally I'm not in my best spot because for some reason Mondays and a majority of Tuesdays absolutely put me through the wringer because it's the beginning of the week. It usually dies down throughout the week; but even then, it's still been pretty bad because of aforementioned trying to live while trying to figure out where to live and also rent and other stuff to figure out. It's been tough. Just needed to get it out because trying to make the decision to leave my house and find somewhere to live is very difficult on me because I'd be leaving my home behind; but anymore I need my own place. It's becoming too much. I didn't want to rant, but I'm having a time. Can't drink tea right now because I'm busy doing work, but will ASAP. That's all I have for now. Until the next post, see ya!

 

Edit: I have calmed down a bit, but I am still having some trouble with this. 

[older]

It sucks big time. It sounds sort of like being trapped in some sort of cage. But we can tell from what you've written on this site that you are intelligent and capable. And the sun always shines after the storm. So let it out here and know that we care. You will eventually resolve this. It may not happen the way you want it to, but in time (and time is one of the hard parts) you'll solve this.

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

Hey kiddo. Sorry I'm late to reply. I've been having out of body experiences....

 

Anyway, it is natural to want to have your own place and here is my suggestion: visualize, visualize, visualize. The better picture you have of what you want, the closer to get to having it. It's like writing your own story. Bring the details into your mind like where it would be, how big the rooms and how many are there, what you would put on the walls, etc. It may sound silly but in times of great need, that has gotten me through. Sorry to have to tell you this part too, but it takes about 2 years for those details to materialize. 

 

In fact, you are a creative writer. Try that! Tell us what you would have in your new home! 

Hang in there Casual. We love you. 

[Casualfanboy16]

16 hours ago, older said:

It sucks big time. It sounds sort of like being trapped in some sort of cage. But we can tell from what you've written on this site that you are intelligent and capable. And the sun always shines after the storm. So let it out here and know that we care. You will eventually resolve this. It may not happen the way you want it to, but in time (and time is one of the hard parts) you'll solve this.

Thank you, dude! I appreciate it. Like my good old friend TABA told me, "This too shall pass". It may pass like a kidney stone, but it'll pass at least lol.

[Casualfanboy16]

1 hour ago, moxieflux66 said:

Hey kiddo. Sorry I'm late to reply. I've been having out of body experiences....

Are you okay now??

 

1 hour ago, moxieflux66 said:

Anyway, it is natural to want to have your own place and here is my suggestion: visualize, visualize, visualize. The better picture you have of what you want, the closer to get to having it. It's like writing your own story. Bring the details into your mind like where it would be, how big the rooms and how many are there, what you would put on the walls, etc. It may sound silly but in times of great need, that has gotten me through. Sorry to have to tell you this part too, but it takes about 2 years for those details to materialize. 

Thanks for this advice, I will have to visualize up a thing. With how inflation is, I'm more likely to be able to get an apartment rather than an actual house, but that's a step haha. I'll write out what I want. I don't need a crazy big place, so it won't be too crazy, but I will write up a thing once I get the time.

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

22 minutes ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

Are you okay now??

 

I'm fine. Just having a bit of fun. Now and then I hang out with someone who is crazier than me, just to keep perspective. 

 

25 minutes ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

Thanks for this advice, I will have to visualize up a thing. With how inflation is, I'm more likely to be able to get an apartment rather than an actual house, but that's a step haha. I'll write out what I want. I don't need a crazy big place, so it won't be too crazy, but I will write up a thing once I get the time.

But that's the beauty of it! You don't have to have boundaries with this, just imagine everything you want and describe it to us. You're good at that! 

[older]

1 hour ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

"This too shall pass". It may pass like a kidney stone, but it'll pass at least lol.

  

A good one! And while it hurts like hell on the way out, the relief is wonderful.

[Casualfanboy16]

3 hours ago, moxieflux66 said:

I'm fine. Just having a bit of fun. Now and then I hang out with someone who is crazier than me, just to keep perspective. 

 

But that's the beauty of it! You don't have to have boundaries with this, just imagine everything you want and describe it to us. You're good at that! 

Firstly, I would like to say, you are so real for that. Crazy can be fun sometimes.

 

Okay, so if we're going by this visualization stuff, I've always been pretty content with living in an area like I'm in now. I do like areas where I am able to get out and be surrounded by the beauty of nature. I'd love to walk around and see all sorts of creatures and plants.

 

Also, I do love me a good log house, but brick could also work, or a mixture of materials. That one's a bit tricky because certain materials I don't know the names of and I don't know what to search for lol. I would also love for my ideal house to have at least  two bedrooms. One for me (and the potential future boyfriend/husband) and one for the guests that will probably never be used lol. Maybe my cat that I am visualizing can use it haha. One bathroom is good enough for me too. Don't want to deal with cleaning two bathrooms haha.

 

Anyway, in terms of a living room, I'm not asking for much. Just like a couch, a recliner or two, coffee table, etc. Have a TV set up with various game consoles for entertainment and just watching stuff too, I suppose. I don't really use the TV for much outside of games anymore.

 

My kitchen would look pretty similar to the one I currently have. A nice granite countertop and wooden bar stools, and for the kitchen table a nice wooden table  with wooden chairs. I don't know the wood type lol. I would send images for reference, but I gotta pay for more storage unfortunately. Anyway it would basically just have all the typical kitchen appliances: a refrigerator, sink, dishwasher, stove, microwave, etc, etc. I don't think I should go into immense detail about everything lol!  

 

So yeah, as for a basement, I'd definitely have an area where people can chill. I don't drink myself, but I might add in a bar and some other things so if guests do come over, they can have some alcohol and chill. Just hopefully not too much I don't know what to do with the drunk people. They ain't gonna mess up my visualization house!!

 

I would love also for me to have my own personal office space so I can pursue my creative endeavors, like drawing and maybe writing. Or just a place to hide away and play games on my laptop.

 

As for the exterior, I don't need a pool or anything like that, but I would like a decently-sized front yard to be in. Doesn't particularly matter if it's fenced in or not. I just don't want a super big lawn with too much grass to mow. I love yards and all, but there's a lot of grass to mow around here. It's crazy. 

 

I definitely want a porch on some end(s) of the house. We have a side, front, and back porch here with their own stuff on each. Would be nice to have a couple.

 

That's all I have for now regarding the house, but if you'd like me to visualize the ideal area I'd like to live in (i.e. being very close to shops and parks and such) let me know!

[◊ Krowb ◊]

12 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

Okay, so if we're going by this visualization stuff, I've always been pretty content with living in an area like I'm in now.

 

I love there are many paths through life.  My advice is the very opposite, get busy doing in the direction you want to go and let the rest of life fall into place.  Apartments are far easier to qualify for than houses and will have less ongoing maintenance (if you rent a house there is a good chance you are also responsible for maintaining the yard).

 

Calculate your takehome pay, take 30% of that and use that 30% as a guide (not a rule) to set your housing budget.  There is nothing wrong with roommates at your age.

 

If your income is insufficient, even with roommates, to get a non-slum apartment, start looking for new employment and researching the skills necessary to land your dream job.  And like a broken record, then get busy doing in that direction.

 

Very few people are lucky enough to play their entire lives and have it work out.  My wife and I both operate under the idea that you can either play when you are young, or play when you are old.  Either way, you will pay the dues.  It's a choice between working hard when young, or working hard when old.  Some people get lucky, most don't.

 

Choose whichever path best suites your personality and interests.  We all leave this life the same way

[Casualfanboy16]

2 hours ago, Krowb said:

 

I love there are many paths through life.  My advice is the very opposite, get busy doing in the direction you want to go and let the rest of life fall into place.  Apartments are far easier to qualify for than houses and will have less ongoing maintenance (if you rent a house there is a good chance you are also responsible for maintaining the yard).

 

Calculate your takehome pay, take 30% of that and use that 30% as a guide (not a rule) to set your housing budget.  There is nothing wrong with roommates at your age.

 

If your income is insufficient, even with roommates, to get a non-slum apartment, start looking for new employment and researching the skills necessary to land your dream job.  And like a broken record, then get busy doing in that direction.

 

Very few people are lucky enough to play their entire lives and have it work out.  My wife and I both operate under the idea that you can either play when you are young, or play when you are old.  Either way, you will pay the dues.  It's a choice between working hard when young, or working hard when old.  Some people get lucky, most don't.

 

Choose whichever path best suites your personality and interests.  We all leave this life the same way

Thank you for this advice. I was pretty much aiming for an apartment anyway. Realistically, it seems more likely I'll end up in an apartment with how expensive everything is. I was just purely visualizing earlier.

 

I'm still stuck on what I want to do with my life. I don't really have a dream job. I used to be really into art. Like an unhealthy amount because I would go several hours without eating, drinking, sleeping and other such things because I would get too absorbed into my work trying to make it perfect. It's definitely not as bad now though because it's more of a hobby anymore. I do like being creative, but I'm still stumped on what I could do. Also gotta find a job that pays.

 

I'm still doing some apartment searches, but for roommates I need to figure out how that'll work. I don't want to end up with toxic roommates lol. I'm sure there are sites or apps for that.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

6 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

Also gotta find a job that pays.

 

I'm still doing some apartment searches, but for roommates I need to figure out how that'll work. I don't want to end up with toxic roommates lol. 

 

I thought you got a full time job.  

 

Have you passed the word around at work that you are looking for a room mate?  And told your friends?  

 

And there may be less expensive options other than an apartment complex.  In the old days some older people would rent out a room, or part of their house with a small kitchen in it.   I know some airbnbs do that now.  

 

Decades ago while in college I rented a room from a widow lady who let me use her kitchen. 

[Casualfanboy16]

53 minutes ago, Weezer said:

I thought you got a full time job.  

 

Have you passed the word around at work that you are looking for a room mate?  And told your friends?  

 

And there may be less expensive options other than an apartment complex.  In the old days some older people would rent out a room, or part of their house with a small kitchen in it.   I know some airbnbs do that now.  

 

Decades ago while in college I rented a room from a widow lady who let me use her kitchen. 

I do have a full time job here, but I want to get a distance away from the parents, and this part of town. I meant that I am gonna move out and to a place farther away from the parents because I need some distanceto truly breathe, so I need to find a full-time job elsewhere. I might still stay in state, but in an area that has a more visible lgbt population. Rural areas don't exactly have that. At least, not here. 

 

If I'm going to be roommate searching, I can't really mention it to anyone. Not only because the friends that do know aren't really around anymore, but also because I want to get out of my rural bubble. Potentially into another rural bubble, but maybe suburbs?? Idk still thinking on it.

 

That does sound interesting. I'll have to check out the Airbnb stuff. Weigh the pros and cons of apartment vs Airbnb. Thanks for the recommendation.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

3 hours ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

I do have a full time job here, but I want to get a distance away from the parents, and this part of town. I meant that I am gonna move out and to a place farther away from the parents because I need some distanceto truly breathe, so I need to find a full-time job elsewhere. I might still stay in state, but in an area that has a more visible lgbt population. Rural areas don't exactly have that. At least, not here. 

 

If I'm going to be roommate searching, I can't really mention it to anyone. Not only because the friends that do know aren't really around anymore, but also because I want to get out of my rural bubble. Potentially into another rural bubble, but maybe suburbs?? Idk still thinking on it.

 

That does sound interesting. I'll have to check out the Airbnb stuff. Weigh the pros and cons of apartment vs Airbnb. Thanks for the recommendation.

I didn't realize you wanted completely out of town.  But that would likely be better if you are now in a relatively isolated rural area.  Do you have a town in mind?  If so, check to see if they have any lbgtq support groups there.  It might be good to contact people in a support group where you want to go. They might help you find a job, a place to live, and get settled in.

[Casualfanboy16]

1 hour ago, Weezer said:

I didn't realize you wanted completely out of town.  But that would likely be better if you are now in a relatively isolated rural area.  Do you have a town in mind?  If so, check to see if they have any lbgtq support groups there.  It might be good to contact people in a support group where you want to go. They might help you find a job, a place to live, and get settled in.

I'm still working on where I should go. There's like so many places I could go. I'm browsing places in a whole bunch of different areas. I could check out support groups sometime tomorrow. It's a bit late here and I'm not in the most awake state of mind lol.

[★ Citsonga ★]

Casualfanboy16, I'm sorry to see what you're going through. You deserve a supportive community. I see from your profile that we live in the same state. Unfortunately, where I live is also quite conservative on LGBT issues. The more accepting areas tend to be the larger cities, but they also tend to have a higher cost-of-living, which sucks. I wish I had a magic wand to make everything great for you. I do hope you can find good work and living arrangements and that things get much better for you.

[Casualfanboy16]

53 minutes ago, Citsonga said:

Casualfanboy16, I'm sorry to see what you're going through. You deserve a supportive community. I see from your profile that we live in the same state. Unfortunately, where I live is also quite conservative on LGBT issues. The more accepting areas tend to be the larger cities, but they also tend to have a higher cost-of-living, which sucks. I wish I had a magic wand to make everything great for you. I do hope you can find good work and living arrangements and that things get much better for you.

Thank you, @Citsonga! I'm still on the search for somewhere, anywhere to go. I'm kind of anxious because I really am not the city type, and the rent seems to be higher in areas like that. Although, those areas are more likely to have a higher gay population.

 

I'm personally more interested in rural, or maybe even suburban life. If I have to move to a city though, so be it. I am just not a fan of the overpopulated, crowded and bustling atmosphere cities like NYC and such have. Also, I'm more of a being around nature sorta guy. But then comes the issue of having things not too far away, like grocery stores, gas stations, all the necessary things. Where I live now it's not so bad in that regard, but since I intend to get out there eventually, I gotta check for any nearby stuff if I end up going with an apartment somewhere (still gotta check out an Airbnb like Weezer mentioned as well).

 

I think finding a place to live has been a stressful time for me haha. I have so much to consider. I don't have a particular time window to move out, but I don't think I wanna be stuck here much longer. I'm trying to save up money and such, but with how expensive everything is, I'm worried I'll never get outta here. Even if it takes a year or so, I want to get out eventually. I'm also worried I'd end up right back where I started and have to move back in with my parents if something happens. I can't live here for much longer. I want out, honestly. I like it here, but I think I'd love it even more if I can move to an area where I can finally be myself, or at least more than I usually can.

 

 

[older]

On 7/4/2024 at 4:56 PM, Casualfanboy16 said:

I'm personally more interested in rural, or maybe even suburban life. If I have to move to a city though, so be it. I am just not a fan of the overpopulated, crowded and bustling atmosphere cities like NYC and such have. Also, I'm more of a being around nature sorta guy.

  

You might take a road trip sometime to California. There are places out here where you can get close to what you are looking for. There are smaller towns that are close enough to the two major population areas so you are not isolated from some of the things needed from there, yet very open minded and near some of the best nature in the country. Having grown up in a suburb of NYC and been in every state in the union, I'd not live east of the Rockies again.

[Casualfanboy16]

7 hours ago, older said:

  

You might take a road trip sometime to California. There are places out here where you can get close to what you are looking for. There are smaller towns that are close enough to the two major population areas so you are not isolated from some of the things needed from there, yet very open minded and near some of the best nature in the country. Having grown up in a suburb of NYC and been in every state in the union, I'd not live east of the Rockies again.

Thanks for this, @older! I'll have to check out some of the places there. Hopefully rent won't be too bad, but that's probably wishful thinking lol. There's probably an Airbnb though like Weezer mentioned.

[older]

Casualfanboy16:

 

While I hesitate to offer unsolicited advice, here's a personal story.

 

Part one is that twice I was facing some extremely difficult times and went to some group sessions. They were called "classes," as the main purpose was to show us how to deal with our issues, but there was more to them than that.

 

What I got from it was some strategies to use as well as an opportunity to meet with others in similar situations. We were able to understand each other and support each other. And I also learned that some folks have it much worse, and this showed me what not to do. So while we here at Ex-ian listen and support you, in-person classes have a dynamic that just isn't possible to create online. Something to think about.

 

Part two: Make a plan to get out of the situation. Writing it down is important — if you can put it into words on paper (with a timeline) then it's easier to visualize and to act upon. Part of the plan is a list of obstacles and how they will be overcome, and deadlines for action. A plan without deadlines is just a list of wishes.

 

I think you may have written before that you are an artist. I can relate to that as I was into photography. And, just like wanting to be a rock star, being a professional in any creative field is difficult. When I finally realized that I needed to find a job that would pay me a living wage, I was able to find something that was peripheral to my creative desire but close enough to be rewarding. One of my criteria was to be on someone's payroll so there would be a regular income. I ended up in education, teaching photography and using my skills, experiences, and interests to help young folks find their way.

 

So you might make a written list of your skills and interests and see what kinds of well-paying jobs fit into that. I have a relative who is a musician. Lots of opportunities there... yea, right. She was teaching piano at a local music school when the owner retired. The owner sold her the school in a deal she couldn't refuse, so now she owns a business with a nice income.

 

Another family member went to a good law school and had an internship with the public defender's office working with juveniles. She loved it but the internship ended and there was no funding for a permanent job. Private practice didn't work out. But liking kids, she had volunteered to coach a high school rugby team (she knew nothing about the sport but the school was desperate). Being around the high school lead her to a temporary job and now she is teaching math at a high school with a high percentage of disadvantaged kids and loving it. (I have a gut feeling that you might be a good 5th or 6th-grade teacher. Being a volunteer classroom aide is one way to test that out.)

 

So it might be worthwhile to make a list of skills and interests and then see how those could be folded into some job that, while it might not be directly using those skills and interests, would be close enough to be rewarding. Don't forget taking classes at a community college; they are most helpful for folks who are searching. One of them saved me and I will forever be grateful.

 

Finally, these major life changes and direction finding things take time. Stay focused, be aware of opportunities, and don't try to rush it. It will come.

[Casualfanboy16]

4 hours ago, older said:

Casualfanboy16:

 

While I hesitate to offer unsolicited advice, here's a personal story.

 

Part one is that twice I was facing some extremely difficult times and went to some group sessions. They were called "classes," as the main purpose was to show us how to deal with our issues, but there was more to them than that.

 

What I got from it was some strategies to use as well as an opportunity to meet with others in similar situations. We were able to understand each other and support each other. And I also learned that some folks have it much worse, and this showed me what not to do. So while we here at Ex-ian listen and support you, in-person classes have a dynamic that just isn't possible to create online. Something to think about.

 

Part two: Make a plan to get out of the situation. Writing it down is important — if you can put it into words on paper (with a timeline) then it's easier to visualize and to act upon. Part of the plan is a list of obstacles and how they will be overcome, and deadlines for action. A plan without deadlines is just a list of wishes.

 

I think you may have written before that you are an artist. I can relate to that as I was into photography. And, just like wanting to be a rock star, being a professional in any creative field is difficult. When I finally realized that I needed to find a job that would pay me a living wage, I was able to find something that was peripheral to my creative desire but close enough to be rewarding. One of my criteria was to be on someone's payroll so there would be a regular income. I ended up in education, teaching photography and using my skills, experiences, and interests to help young folks find their way.

 

So you might make a written list of your skills and interests and see what kinds of well-paying jobs fit into that. I have a relative who is a musician. Lots of opportunities there... yea, right. She was teaching piano at a local music school when the owner retired. The owner sold her the school in a deal she couldn't refuse, so now she owns a business with a nice income.

 

Another family member went to a good law school and had an internship with the public defender's office working with juveniles. She loved it but the internship ended and there was no funding for a permanent job. Private practice didn't work out. But liking kids, she had volunteered to coach a high school rugby team (she knew nothing about the sport but the school was desperate). Being around the high school lead her to a temporary job and now she is teaching math at a high school with a high percentage of disadvantaged kids and loving it. (I have a gut feeling that you might be a good 5th or 6th-grade teacher. Being a volunteer classroom aide is one way to test that out.)

 

So it might be worthwhile to make a list of skills and interests and then see how those could be folded into some job that, while it might not be directly using those skills and interests, would be close enough to be rewarding. Don't forget taking classes at a community college; they are most helpful for folks who are searching. One of them saved me and I will forever be grateful.

 

Finally, these major life changes and direction finding things take time. Stay focused, be aware of opportunities, and don't try to rush it. It will come.

I don't mind! I am in need of advice right now. Are these "classes" like support groups of some kind?

 

As for planning, I thank you for that advice because I am not exactly the most organized person in the world; and writing stuff down (almost) guarantees I'll remember stuff better. Making manageable, realistic goals within some sort of timeline has also not exactly been my strong suit. You think with all the overthinking I do I'd be able to make better decisions lol. I will have to make a list of my skills and and write them down.

 

And yes! I did write down that I'm an artist. I don't really know if I can call myself that much anymore though. I don't draw as often as I used to. I used to have dreams about writing and illustrating my own comic or animating TV shows. I don't think that's realistically achievable at this point. I only really feel like drawing occasionally as like a hobby. The spark, the drive. I can't ignite it as well. I honestly don't know where I'm going to end up and that kinda scares me a bit.

 

I still like things involving being creative, but I'm not sure what's gonna happen now. I'm not sure about being a volunteer classroom aide or teacher either. I can really only handle kids in small doses lol. Also  I never liked school lmaooooo! I mean for obvious reasons. 

 

I'm still in limbo when it comes to what I want to do with my life and honesty it's kind of terrifying. I know I'm young and I have a decent amount of life left- I mean you never know, but yeah. I'm just confused about everything and needing a way out from this town, this area, and maaaaaaaaybe the state of Pennsylvania as a whole lol. I dunno. Still thinking.

 

I suppose I can look into a community college as well. I think the worst part is having too many options to choose from. I will try doing that stuff you mentioned in order to narrow stuff down. Thanks for that.

[◊ Weezer ◊]

Older gave some excelent advice.  You could pick one class at the community college you have interest in, and give it a try.  Meet new people, and maybe open up new paths.

[older]

35 minutes ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

Are these "classes" like support groups of some kind?

One was at the counseling center at the university I was attending. Yes, it was a support group but also a place where the leader taught us some techniques on how to deal with our issues. We'd practice on each other under the leader's guidance, and it was most worthwhile. As a student there was no fee involved. The other was a non-profit group for which there was no fee.

 

 

37 minutes ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

I'm still in limbo when it comes to what I want to do with my life and honesty it's kind of terrifying.

Sounds like something I would have written when I was your age. It took me until I was almost 30 to get it right. Saying that doesn't make it better, but you aren't alone in the journey. (Most everyone else just hides the problem behind a happy facade.)

 

 

38 minutes ago, Casualfanboy16 said:

I suppose I can look into a community college as well.

Community colleges are this country's most unnoticed yet valuable resource. I had two different experiences spaced out over about 7 years and that institution turned my life around. It's not just the classes. They have all sorts of resources and support. You've written about some neurological problems. They would have a disabled students' office that would help you. And there is a counseling center (helped me a lot). (At the university I got some minor surgery for next to nothing through the health center.) Not to mention the social connections. You can take just one class or a whole schedule — whatever works for you. There are also various professional certificates available which only require those specific classes, so you don't have to study esoterica. One of the advantages is the low cost, which also makes it a good place to explore various options. 

[☆ moxieflux66 ☆]

30 minutes ago, older said:

Community colleges are this country's most unnoticed yet valuable resource. I had two different experiences spaced out over about 7 years and that institution turned my life around. It's not just the classes. They have all sorts of resources and support. You've written about some neurological problems. They would have a disabled students' office that would help you. And there is a counseling center (helped me a lot). (At the university I got some minor surgery for next to nothing through the health center.) Not to mention the social connections. You can take just one class or a whole schedule — whatever works for you. There are also various professional certificates available which only require those specific classes, so you don't have to study esoterica. One of the advantages is the low cost, which also makes it a good place to explore various options. 

 

I agree wholeheartedly with older on this one, Casual. Community College did the same thing for me, eventually launching me into the laboratory career I chose. 

But just taking one class at a time, if you are working full time, would be pretty new and an exciting change, in many different ways. Do it kid! You won't regret it. 

[Casualfanboy16]

1 hour ago, older said:

One was at the counseling center at the university I was attending. Yes, it was a support group but also a place where the leader taught us some techniques on how to deal with our issues. We'd practice on each other under the leader's guidance, and it was most worthwhile. As a student there was no fee involved. The other was a non-profit group for which there was no fee.

Can you think of any of the techniques that would be applicable to me and my situation? I know you said it helped you deal with your issues and such, but are there techniques I could apply to my life, or were those techniques specifically tailored for your issues only and not a thing that could be applicable to anyone else?

 

1 hour ago, older said:

Sounds like something I would have written when I was your age. It took me until I was almost 30 to get it right. Saying that doesn't make it better, but you aren't alone in the journey. (Most everyone else just hides the problem behind a happy facade.)

I guess that makes me feel a little less alone, so thanks! I feel terrified when it comes to making decisions surrounding careers. There's so many options to choose from. Especially since I'm pretty stuck on what I really want to do. I just really don't know. I have to admit it. I genuinely do not know what I should do and that is somehow very profoundly terrifying. I also hide behind a happy facade sometimes lol.

 

1 hour ago, older said:

Community colleges are this country's most unnoticed yet valuable resource. I had two different experiences spaced out over about 7 years and that institution turned my life around. It's not just the classes. They have all sorts of resources and support. You've written about some neurological problems. They would have a disabled students' office that would help you. And there is a counseling center (helped me a lot). (At the university I got some minor surgery for next to nothing through the health center.) Not to mention the social connections. You can take just one class or a whole schedule — whatever works for you. There are also various professional certificates available which only require those specific classes, so you don't have to study esoterica. One of the advantages is the low cost, which also makes it a good place to explore various options. 

Yes! Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum. I think I spelled that right I'm like tired after a trip to Gettysburg and don't care about fixing mistakes right now lol. I will look into community colleges. Seems like something worthwhile! Also low cost!! Yesss!!!

[Casualfanboy16]

1 hour ago, moxieflux66 said:

 

I agree wholeheartedly with older on this one, Casual. Community College did the same thing for me, eventually launching me into the laboratory career I chose. 

But just taking one class at a time, if you are working full time, would be pretty new and an exciting change, in many different ways. Do it kid! You won't regret it. 

Thanks! I will look into it!!