Rando Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 "Every head bowed, every eye closed, no one looking around." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
inorbit Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 "Bless their heart..." It's the Christian's polite way of saying, "Well, they really sucked at that attempt, but I'll pretend to be grateful and/or encouraging. Really I don't give a shit and don't know how to say that." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 "Every head bowed, every eye closed, no one looking around." And that one is always followed up with the lie: "I see that hand. Yes, there is another hand. Praise Jesus I see your hand too." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rando Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 Shaan-da-lei! (this is tounge talkin' Xianese) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antix Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 fruit of the fuckin' spirit LOL Luv ya Mcdaddy A few nights ago I was channel surfing and there was some documentary about cults leaving cults. One was a hard core christian cult run by an elderly african american lady and her family and they were showing footage of her. Fucking nutcase. She was nasty, mean, demeaning and one lady who left the cult was saying when they joined, she (cult leader) put her hand on the head of the husband of this lady and he fell to the floor in a fit as the demon left. She said he had a demon of something, I forget what. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeryBerry Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 " I plead the blood of Jesus over[my house, my car, my children, my dog]. I used to "plead the blood" over the students in my special education class... Poor babies. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antix Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 " I plead the blood of Jesus over[my house, my car, my children, my dog]. I used to "plead the blood" over the students in my special education class... Poor babies. I never even did that, I would pray, only to realize that most were not answered and the ones that were were random chance. What does it even mean to plead the blood over something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deva Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 "What would Jesus do?". I actually heard this at my workplace this week. This from someone who has absolutely no self control whatsoever, cussing yelling, pounding his fist, etc. almost a daily occurrence. Wait a minute, maybe it is appropriate. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antix Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 fruit of the fuckin' spirit LOL Luv ya Mcdaddy A few nights ago I was channel surfing and there was some documentary about cults leaving cults. One was a hard core christian cult run by an elderly african american lady and her family and they were showing footage of her. Fucking nutcase. She was nasty, mean, demeaning and one lady who left the cult was saying when they joined, she (cult leader) put her hand on the head of the husband of this lady and he fell to the floor in a fit as the demon left. She said he had a demon of something, I forget what. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4byL98yNMsw starts about 5:10 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 "What would Jesus do?". I actually heard this at my workplace this week. This from someone who has absolutely no self control whatsoever, cussing yelling, pounding his fist, etc. almost a daily occurrence. Wait a minute, maybe it is appropriate. Tell him "Jesus would get himself executed and then blame it on the whole world". 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VeryBerry Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 " I plead the blood of Jesus over[my house, my car, my children, my dog]. I used to "plead the blood" over the students in my special education class... Poor babies. I never even did that, I would pray, only to realize that most were not answered and the ones that were were random chance. What does it even mean to plead the blood over something? I was a crazy Pentecostal back then. I believed that pleading the blood of Jesus over people and property was effective. It was an incident at my job that caused me to start questioning my faith. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mymistake Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 I was a crazy Pentecostal back then. I believed that pleading the blood of Jesus over people and property was effective. Oh yeah. And whenever I moved to a new apartment or house I would buy a bottle of olive oil and paint crosses in every corner while saying a prayer of protection to drive out evil spirits. Take that demons! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted September 20, 2012 Share Posted September 20, 2012 God is sovereign Obey, obedience submission, submit If the lord will it God's elect Eternal Security God willing if the lord tarry There's a few that have come to mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 fruit of the fuckin' spirit LOL Luv ya Mcdaddy A few nights ago I was channel surfing and there was some documentary about cults leaving cults. One was a hard core christian cult run by an elderly african american lady and her family and they were showing footage of her. Fucking nutcase. She was nasty, mean, demeaning and one lady who left the cult was saying when they joined, she (cult leader) put her hand on the head of the husband of this lady and he fell to the floor in a fit as the demon left. She said he had a demon of something, I forget what. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4byL98yNMsw starts about 5:10 Oh shit....I saw this one more than once. I swear I wanted to kick the shit out of that loud mouthed bitch preacher woman.....I HATE that. She reminded me of my xpastor, loudmouthed, self righteous, enjoys inflicting pain on others.I HATE those types of groups. Oh & this lady who joined seemed so nice. when she joined that crazy ass group they were called "FREE LOVE MINISTRIES"....& ended up calling themselves something like real harsh -commandos for gawd- or some shit. Their original name for their cult was the exact opposite of what the reality inside was about. When I see shit like that I honestly wish there was a hell where people go & at least get to think long & hard about the suffering & pain they inflicted on others. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antix Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 " I plead the blood of Jesus over[my house, my car, my children, my dog]. I used to "plead the blood" over the students in my special education class... Poor babies. I never even did that, I would pray, only to realize that most were not answered and the ones that were were random chance. What does it even mean to plead the blood over something? I was a crazy Pentecostal back then. I believed that pleading the blood of Jesus over people and property was effective. It was an incident at my job that caused me to start questioning my faith. You noticed the so called unsaved having more morals and more fun to hang out with? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
antix Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 fruit of the fuckin' spirit LOL Luv ya Mcdaddy A few nights ago I was channel surfing and there was some documentary about cults leaving cults. One was a hard core christian cult run by an elderly african american lady and her family and they were showing footage of her. Fucking nutcase. She was nasty, mean, demeaning and one lady who left the cult was saying when they joined, she (cult leader) put her hand on the head of the husband of this lady and he fell to the floor in a fit as the demon left. She said he had a demon of something, I forget what. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4byL98yNMsw starts about 5:10 Oh shit....I saw this one more than once. I swear I wanted to kick the shit out of that loud mouthed bitch preacher woman.....I HATE that. She reminded me of my xpastor, loudmouthed, self righteous, enjoys inflicting pain on others.I HATE those types of groups. Oh & this lady who joined seemed so nice. when she joined that crazy ass group they were called "FREE LOVE MINISTRIES"....& ended up calling themselves something like real harsh -commandos for gawd- or some shit. Their original name for their cult was the exact opposite of what the reality inside was about. When I see shit like that I honestly wish there was a hell where people go & at least get to think long & hard about the suffering & pain they inflicted on others. Same here. And you got that right: loud mouth preacher bitch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcdaddy Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 meh I just beat mcdaddy to it. Thx, but that was probably more in Florduh's wheelhouse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
traveller2 Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 'You noticed the so called unsaved having more morals and more fun to hang out with?' Damn right! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
VacuumFlux Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Pour love into [someone] Love on them (where "them" is often total strangers, not your close family members) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silentknight Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 Pour love into [someone] Love on them (where "them" is often total strangers, not your close family members) Just makes me think of the song "Pour Some Sugar on Me" (not very christian) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stryper Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 but it is in the name of love Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 The power of love is a curious thing..."Hug your neck" and "hug on you" used to irritate me. But those are more Southernisms than Christianisms, I suspect. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
roadrunner Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 washed in the blood (yuck) flesh (yuck) broken body (yuck) Trinity (WTF....so stupid in hindsight) I'll pray for you. (i.e. I'll do absolutely nothing but pass this off to someone else) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 "What would Jesus do?". I actually heard this at my workplace this week. This from someone who has absolutely no self control whatsoever, cussing yelling, pounding his fist, etc. almost a daily occurrence. Wait a minute, maybe it is appropriate. Jesus would hang out with whores and interfere with free markets. In other words, Jesus was a Democrat. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BendyLine Posted September 21, 2012 Share Posted September 21, 2012 "Hug your neck" and "hug on you" used to irritate me. But those are more Southernisms than Christianisms, I suspect. "Hug your neck" is definitely a southernism. I actually have fond memories of it, my late grandfather used to ask us to "hug my neck" all the time. "God has a plan." Translation: I have no idea what to say to help you, so let's just pretend like everything is going to be okay eventually. EDIT: Jesus would hang out with whores and interfere with free markets. In other words, Jesus was a Democrat. If they were male whores, wouldn't that make him a Republican? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts