mcdaddy Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 You were in one incredibly fucked up church! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scriptor Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 You were in one incredibly fucked up Christian church! Fixed 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedStar Posted June 23, 2012 Share Posted June 23, 2012 Yes RedStar!! Exactly! and you hit the nail on the head, there was a whole lot of pretending....you could NOT really share with the church people what was really going on in your life, lest you be accused of "not having enough faith" or some other spiritual downfall you were "guilty" of. You could probably relate to this, but by the time I was ready to leave, I didn't have any positive feelings towards that group of people because it was all so pretentious. The relationships were so superficial. Of course the pastor & certain others might have known some of our problems....but it was always brushed over & we were to blame for our "not being content" or "not being satisfied with god's provision"...etc. No matter what, WE were always in the wrong. I once had a pastor tell me that I looked dark and scary and unapproachable. He had liked to avoid me as much as he could, people would go up for prayer at the end of the service and even though I was up there too, there was more than one occasion where he completely ignored me. I guess my state of mind and difficult times were just too hard for him to deal with. If he thought it was tough for him to deal with me, maybe he should have thought how I felt! I didn't have the convenience of being able to walk away like he did, I was stuck with my issues and that was that. My thoughts about this is if you can't handle people who are going through a hard time that doesn't get better for a long time, then you shouldn't be a pastor anyway. I'd like to see how he would have handled all the crap my family and I have been through. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 Yes RedStar!! Exactly! and you hit the nail on the head, there was a whole lot of pretending....you could NOT really share with the church people what was really going on in your life, lest you be accused of "not having enough faith" or some other spiritual downfall you were "guilty" of. You could probably relate to this, but by the time I was ready to leave, I didn't have any positive feelings towards that group of people because it was all so pretentious. The relationships were so superficial. Of course the pastor & certain others might have known some of our problems....but it was always brushed over & we were to blame for our "not being content" or "not being satisfied with god's provision"...etc. No matter what, WE were always in the wrong. I once had a pastor tell me that I looked dark and scary and unapproachable. He had liked to avoid me as much as he could, people would go up for prayer at the end of the service and even though I was up there too, there was more than one occasion where he completely ignored me. I guess my state of mind and difficult times were just too hard for him to deal with. If he thought it was tough for him to deal with me, maybe he should have thought how I felt! I didn't have the convenience of being able to walk away like he did, I was stuck with my issues and that was that. My thoughts about this is if you can't handle people who are going through a hard time that doesn't get better for a long time, then you shouldn't be a pastor anyway. I'd like to see how he would have handled all the crap my family and I have been through. I always thought a pastor was someone who SERVED, but that just is NOT the case in these crazy ass xian churches. I am sorry for what you went through. It's hard because a church is supposed to be a place where people are helped & not hurt. boy, I had to learn the hard way that it was all lies.Bloody hell....your xpastor sounds just like my ex-pastard!! I remember one sermon where he was talking all about how he &his wife took a mini vacation & how great he felt...then, tables turned, he basically began bitching & moaning about his friggen "stomach issues" & blaming the "church=people" for his bad health problems. He said once he got back to work after his trip, his stomach issues started up again. poor poor pastard....& of course we felt like shit that we were to blame for "the man of God's" stomach issues. makes me sick he's such a jerk! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NeverAgainV Posted June 24, 2012 Author Share Posted June 24, 2012 You were in one incredibly fucked up church! I think a LOT of churches are like the one I was in, but people just don't speak up about it. They are terrified to speak out about the abuses. That's why I have such anger towards xpastard/church & churches that are like what I escaped from. Oh they make me mad! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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