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Goodbye Jesus

What Is The Most Absurd Christian Teaching?


Adam5

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That God is omniscient and omnipotent. Were that the case, experience would indicate that he must be a cruel, incompetent, bumbling idiot.

 

Free will is the often used excuse. Anything bad happens, Christians usually blame "sin", usually not their own smile.png

Yes, that is the typical explanation. But, a god/creator who knows the future and can do anything he wants shouldn't have to drown his entire creation and start over - unless he's an idiot.

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That God is omniscient and omnipotent. Were that the case, experience would indicate that he must be a cruel, incompetent, bumbling idiot.

 

Free will is the often used excuse. Anything bad happens, Christians usually blame "sin", usually not their own smile.png

Yes, that is the typical explanation. But, a god/creator who knows the future and can do anything he wants shouldn't have to drown his entire creation and start over - unless he's an idiot.

And it doesn't really work on the face of it. Evil is needed, so we can have the ability to choose (which is just about all that free will means anyhow), why? It would be really cool if someone could explain how evil is a requirement for that logically.
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Absurdity abounds in this religion.

But the teaching that God had to sacrifice himself to himself in order to change the rules that he invented ranks high on my list.

The whole idea of being covered by the blood reeks of primitive, magical superstition.

Volcano gods anyone?

According to the Christian experts on God, there was no other way for this "all powerful" being to accomplish this, even though the Bible shows that God can simply forgive sin if he wants to, with no absurd human sacrifice being needed.

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The men in long frocks tell us Jesus is all about lurve. He is the prince of peace. Love thy neighbour, Cuddles with sheep, lambs and so forth.

 

They then say Jesus is the same God of the old testament. What? The pschyo who drowns humanity in a flood, the bloodthirsty tribal god sending Joshua into Canaan to commit genocide. Yes thats one schizo deity we have there :)

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Absurdity abounds in this religion.

But the teaching that God had to sacrifice himself to himself in order to change the rules that he invented ranks high on my list.

The whole idea of being covered by the blood reeks of primitive, magical superstition.

Volcano gods anyone?

According to the Christian experts on God, there was no other way for this "all powerful" being to accomplish this, even though the Bible shows that God can simply forgive sin if he wants to, with no absurd human sacrifice being needed.

 

Your comments reminded me of how I summarized Christianity in my head immediately upon my deconversion. It can be summarized to three tenets, thought crime, human sacrifice, and cannibalism. How can you say no to that?Wendytwitch.gif

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That we are judged simply by our belief. Gullible are rewarded and the reasonable are reviled.

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The men in long frocks tell us Jesus is all about lurve. He is the prince of peace. Love thy neighbour, Cuddles with sheep, lambs and so forth.

 

They then say Jesus is the same God of the old testament. What? The pschyo who drowns humanity in a flood, the bloodthirsty tribal god sending Joshua into Canaan to commit genocide. Yes thats one schizo deity we have there smile.png

 

Then you have Solomon telling us to eat drink and be merry, because when you're dead, you're dead and then Paul turns around and tells you to live a miserable, self-hating life dragging some damned cross around because this life is evil and the next life is your reward.

 

Paul was a loathsome son of a bitch.

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--EDIT, I see adam5 already mentioned this --

 

I think its pretty absurd that the petty jealous tribal war god of the old testament became the one supreme all knowing all powerful, kind, god of love in the new.

 

 

 

Also the doctrines of Jesus, such as his divinity (Fully man and fully god), the trinity, why he came, ect..

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That God is omniscient and omnipotent. Were that the case, experience would indicate that he must be a cruel, incompetent, bumbling idiot.

 

Free will is the often used excuse. Anything bad happens, Christians usually blame "sin", usually not their own smile.png

Yes, that is the typical explanation. But, a god/creator who knows the future and can do anything he wants shouldn't have to drown his entire creation and start over - unless he's an idiot.

 

And if he is also omni benevolent, which is claimed, his omniscience would preclude him from creating someone who was destined to suffer.

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Absurdity abounds in this religion.

But the teaching that God had to sacrifice himself to himself in order to change the rules that he invented ranks high on my list.

The whole idea of being covered by the blood reeks of primitive, magical superstition.

Volcano gods anyone?

According to the Christian experts on God, there was no other way for this "all powerful" being to accomplish this, even though the Bible shows that God can simply forgive sin if he wants to, with no absurd human sacrifice being needed.

 

This.

 

I've used this line of thinking when talking to my sweet, but fundy, wife.

 

"If god is bound by this rule that he has to kill himself to appease himself, then who made that rule? The being that bound god by this rule is the REAL god. But noone knows who did this"

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Anything in Genesis and anything in Revelations. 'nuff said.

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"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching that leadership is male.

 

These teachings effectively cripple 50% of adherents..

 

A good friend of mine shared this conflict she had with the verse on women not speaking in church (after I shared with her I haven't been going to church for a month or so). She said it raised a red flag, but then God worked it out for her through a Joyce Meyer teaching, saying women back then didn't know how to read/very uneducated, so they relied on their husbands to explain things to them.

 

So Christians answer a repressive verse with an oppressive cultural explanation? And this is STILL happening today...

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Yeah the trinity is especially confusing since it is a test for orthodoxy. No one can understand it, yet you MUST believe it or else you are a heretic. No one wants to be considered a heretic, so they all just say they believe it, even though it is impossible to understand. This bothered me a lot because in the pentecostal church i was at, they didn't like the oneness pentecostals, referred to them as heretics, which I though was unfair, since it isn't a concept anyone can actually understand.

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So Christians answer a repressive verse with an oppressive cultural explanation? And this is STILL happening today...

 

The church here is getting itself in a state over the ordination of women bishops. Liberals v Conservatives. Its that book holding them back. Because the sexism is there in Paul's letters.

 

Although interestingly Paul did write positive things about women helpers and ministers in other letters. So some have speculated that the sexist bits may have been fraudulently written in the text at a later date.

 

Well, just more proof that the buybull is not a source of good morals.

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It's like trying to find the wettest part of the ocean.

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You will go to hell if you do not worship the right god.

Also, "Wives, in the same way [as slaves] be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives...like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master." Christianity promtoes S&M.

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"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching that leadership is male.

 

These teachings effectively cripple 50% of adherents..

That's the main thing that got me out of the Church. It still stuns me when the fundies find that normal.

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No one so far has mentioned the Trinity. 3=1. Jesus (god) praying to God. That used to give me a headache, back in the day.

 

I think we have a winner!

A friend of mine, when I was a believer, called Yahweh a

schizophrenic with multiple personality disorder. I laughed because as much as I hated to admit it, she was right.

 I didn't think of it that way before. Interesting take on the trinity.

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"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching that leadership is male.

 

These teachings effectively cripple 50% of adherents..

 

A good friend of mine shared this conflict she had with the verse on women not speaking in church (after I shared with her I haven't been going to church for a month or so). She said it raised a red flag, but then God worked it out for her through a Joyce Meyer teaching, saying women back then didn't know how to read/very uneducated, so they relied on their husbands to explain things to them.

 

So Christians answer a repressive verse with an oppressive cultural explanation? And this is STILL happening today...

 

The beauty and wonder of apologetics is truly amazing.

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Teaching the rapture as a real, literal future event.

 

hi Deva, I actually think end time nut jobs like Harold Camping and, Jack van Impe and Rexella, are probably quite similar to the orginal Apostles, i.e. nutters smile.png

They must have been a 'special' bunch cuz Jesus taught them for over three years yet they could not recognize him after being dead three days. Then every time he appeared in their midst--SURPRISE!--he would look like someone else and everyone had to be told again who the weirdo was. Then there is my favorite fruit cake, Paul. As far as Christian instruction goes, they lose credibility with the kids in the park and a talking snake.

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The most absurd thing I ever heard was from this charismatic preacher from Mississippi. He was part of a tour I did in Israel, and he took us into the Dome of the Rock mosque, to show us how "God" had used the very marble the Muslims used in the building to show a hidden face of Jesus dominating the hidden face of Mouhammed. And the people on my tour were oohing and aaahing as he tried to covertly point their faces out to us in the marble. And the guards at the dome started following our group around! I don't think they even let Christians in anymore. I thought that was fuck-nuts even back then, but I still remained a Xian.

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DeanMen that was funny!

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DeanMen that was funny!

 

I should put it in the Christians are gullible thread. This guy also acted out "Armegeddon" in the Valley of Meggido. It was some sick, twisted shit. I was appalled. And he "prophesied" that I needed to get married before the year 2000. WACKO!

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"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching that leadership is male.

These teachings effectively cripple 50% of adherents..

....but then God worked it out for her through a Joyce Meyer teaching, saying women back then didn't know how to read/very uneducated, so they relied on their husbands to explain things to them.

I've read up on every excuse apologists come up with. The fact is, the Bible actually states that women are ontologically inferior by virtue of their femaleness. It's Eve who sinned and brought humanity down to its knees, Eve was tricked not All Hail the Male Adam, etc., etc.

 

And of course Joyce Meyer will make an excuse on the basis of culture and education; if she were truly following the Bible/Paul's nonsense, she'd be giving foot massages (or better) to her husband as he prepares to preach. Back, woman! Back! Sit. Staaaaaaay. Staaaaaay.

 

Gawd. So glad we're out, GG!!! A toast to rejoining the human race as equal participants. beer.gif

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"Wives, submit to husbands" and "Women must be silent in church" and the atrocious teaching that leadership is male.

That's the main thing that got me out of the Church. It still stuns me when the fundies find that normal.

Same. It's pretty rough growing up hating yourself because you lack a God antennae. In Christian organizations I've seen unqualified and uneducated men professionally oversee doctorally-prepared women because that somehow makes "Biblical" sense Wendytwitch.gif . I've seen a male pastor scream at his wife from the puplit, "SUBMIT!" Wendytwitch.gif But more than anything, I grew up terribly confused about the role of women in society. It's taken me a long time to recover from the misogyny of the church.

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