MrsRoper Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Ha, ha, ha, Legion, as a Damn Yankee nothing chaps my ass more than being dismissed with a "bless your heart." Dean It's so damn effective it's scary. And people think northerners are rude... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Sounds to me like she's in denial. Maybe you could try this: Every time she makes a god reference, or says anything about prayer, or pesters you about church, just calmly remind her that you don't believe any of it. The trick is to be really consistent with it - you have to remind her EVERY time, so eventually she'll have to come to grips with the fact that every religious statement from her will result in a denial of god by you. It's just like house training a puppy. Once she is conditioned to expect your response she'll be able to let go of her denisl and move on to the later stages of coming to terms with your atheism: anger, grief, and acceptance. This is similar to what my therapist told me. She also said to change the conversation or get off the phone by saying, "I have to go get the laundry." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrsRoper Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 When dealing with a problem child, consistency is key, DJ. Fundies tend to respond very well to firmly-made and consistently-drawn boundaries. Just to clarify, my mother is actually a fairly liberal Christian. She doesn't hate gays, thinks abortion should be legal and doesn't try to deny science. That doesn't change anything about her blind faith and reverence of God, though. Oh, we'll in that case, I'll trade you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Serendipity Rose's post reminded me of something from way back when in fundie-days... I was taught that words had incredible power, so if you spoke a "truth" often enough it would manifest and become real. (Amway taught the same thing, now that I think of it.) I was taught this in the context of "making" my then-husband, an abusive fundie preacher, a decent human being, but people were also told to do that to make their faith stronger, to "claim" healings and monetary aid, etc. That weird "The Promise" and "Law of Attraction" shit works along those lines, doesn't it? Name it and claim it, I think the derogatory summation goes. I wonder if DJ's mom might be doing something like that. Anyway, glad she's not as bad as some of the fundies we hear about, DJ, and we're here for you if you have to let that frustration out in a safe place! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 I don't think that it's a mental problem considering this is the only thing she ever seems to forget. This was my suspicion from the start, which is why I suggested what I did. Also, I know the Southernese passive-aggression all to well, and it DRIVES. ME. BUGSHIT. I can do it, but it makes me feel dirty. And I'm much more about plain old aggression. I say what I mean. In the tone I mean it. I never coddled my mother about my change of religion. She picked me up by the hair and threw me out of the house, but that didn't make me change my beliefs, or my plainness about them. She eventually got the fuck over it. You know your mom better than anyone here, but if this is some passive-aggressive bullshit she's pulling, call her out. Every time. Don't let any comment slide. Don't give her a single mental or emotional foothold into who you are. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paine Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 It's getting really frustrating. I've already revealed to my mother that I don't believe in Christianity and am an agnostic atheist, but she acts as if I never said anything. I feel very insulted that she claims "God's will" while I'm depressed when she knows that means nothing to me. Or when she asks me why I haven't been going to church. Why the hell would an atheist go to church? I've tried to remind her a few times, but she just seems to shrug it off and remind me within an hour of how great God is. One of the most ridiculous things was when she noticed that I had ex-christian.net bookmarked. She had to sit me down and have a "talk" about why I would have such a site bookmarked. I ended up revealing to her for the third fucking time that I am not Christian anymore. What I find most frustrating about this is that I thought we had a real heart-to-heart when I first came out to her and I feel really offended that she is either constantly forgetting or is just willfully ignorant. Its the SAME FUCKING COGNITIVE DISSONANCE that allows her to believe in a talking snake, a magic fruit the and a man on a cross. She is being PASSIVE AGRESSIVE and you need to call her on it>>>or break contact with her until she FUCKING WELL GETS IT! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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