Super Moderator florduh Posted May 2, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted May 2, 2012 As long as they aren't directly in your face proselytizing their beliefs with great aggression, I wouldn't sweat it too much. Exactly. In my experience, unlike Christians, the 'alternative' believers get along just fine with those who don't buy into their beliefs. I've had some great times with witches and pagans, Christians, not so much. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thackerie Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 I'm a little worried about this myself. I finally found a Buddhist meditation group near me but they meet in a Unitarian Universalist church. I can't help but wonder if they go to church services as well. From what I've heard, Unitarians can be quite wooish. I don't know where you heard that. It hasn't been my experience at all in the 30+ years I've attended UU churches. I suppose some individual congregations might vary, but I'd be surprised that any of them are "wooish." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted May 2, 2012 Author Share Posted May 2, 2012 This might cost me some flak from some of the more die-hard atheists here, but: As long as they aren't directly in your face proselytizing their beliefs with great aggression, I wouldn't sweat it too much. Sometimes, doing a "voluntary suspension of disbelief" and considering others' beliefs, can be kind of comforting and relaxing; at the very least, it can be interesting to feel like an armchair anthropologist observing the things that make other groups of people tick. I myself flirt with "go to your sacred space" meditations and Swedish paganism from time to time, and I find it really comforting when I am stressed, lonely and in need of something. I don't take it deadly seriously; it's just a psychological exercise that helps. It's worth what it's worth. IMO, getting too rabid about atheism, science, logic and the like, can become as much of a cognitive trap as being a devout religious. Having something of a spiritual and/or emotional side is a part of being human; that's not to say that you'll end up a wide-eyed chakra-crazed conspiracy freak or something. Even just connecting to nature, or using your imagination in fantasy, can really be positive at times. Thanks, Agord. You'll get no flak from me. I agree with what you said here. From what I can tell so far, these women are pretty open and accepting. I think I just have to get past the "triggers" - the stuff that reminds me of my former belief system and some of the people in it. I'm thinking of asking the yoga instructor to coffee. She's a former Christian, so I'm sure she could relate to what I'm going through. It would help to just get this stuff out in the open with someone in the group and see that they aren't going to freak out. I think I'd feel more comfortable then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToonForever Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 I have to echo a lot of the others who say you probably won't have the conformance issues presented by the fundy Christians most of us used to be. Most of the Eastern traditions and religions and the New Agey offshoots are very much a "whatever works for you" sort of thing. I practice Buddhist meditation and listen to and read the teachings of people like Pema Chodron, Thich Nhat Hanh, Jack Kornfield, Chogyam Trungpa, and the like. I practice to anchor myself emotionally, as I am prone to anger and an ill temperament. I also think the philosophy is wonderfully focused on compassion and unity with others, and use it to mold my attitude. When the teachings go to the untestable or so-called "woo" places (karma, samsara, etc.) I simply attribute that to the root traditions of the philosophy and understand them to be simply concepts that are as unprovable as anything I left behind. The nice part is that, unlike listening to Christian preachers, you hear things like I did yesterday listening to Pema while driving. She was talking about karma and said, "If you believe in rebirth, then you carry that mindset with you." I appreciate fact that she, and many of these teachers, understand that all of these things are up for discussion, and none of them are sacrosanct. Even Chogyam Trungpa is said to have answered the question, "Is reincarnation true?" with, "Your guess is as good as mine." As a guy who needs a touch of ritual and spirituality, even knowing my experience is all generated in my mind, I appreciate knowing the teaching isn't asking me to give up my ability to reason. Very unlike my old fundy faith. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 Ok, so I started attending a yoga class recently. It is held at a woman's home about 5 minutes from where we live. I was really happy to find this class b/c we live in a very small Bible Belt town. So I was amazed to find this group of women who aren't Christians. But there's a problem...the class is part of a "Wellness Center" operated out of a converted shop building. Here's a description from their website: "____ is a Center for spiritual exploration & holistic healing without judgement or competition. We are a group of like-minded people from all walks of life enjoying life thru community in yoga, energy healing, shamanism and other modalities." I've gone to 3 of the classes so far and before the class the women sit around and talk (most of them get there early). They seem like a fun group, pretty laid back and have a good sense of humor. But in their conversations, things have come up about their spiritual beliefs. For instance, the yoga instructor is of Native American heritage and is building a sweat lodge in her back yard. She talked about how she walked her property to find the right spot for it and why she felt "led" to build it on a particular site. Another woman commented excitedly about how the "spirit" led her to that perfect spot. Later on, a woman walked in and was all excited about this business deal she got that she'd been hoping for. She attributed her good fortune to the "energy work" she'd gotten at the center. She said that her colleagues left the voicemail about her getting the deal at the exact same time she was getting her treatment at the center. Some of the women were like, "oooohhh". The owner of the healing center does something called "Reconnective Healing". I did a little research on it and it was started by some guy who is a former chiropractor. It just reeks of a scam. He sells dvd's and does conferences teaching others how to do this "healing method". She offered to "work on me" a couple of times, so last night I agreed to it (she does this free for yoginis). I chose to be open-minded - I figured hey, if it helps why do I care how it works? But I didn't feel a thing and had no improvement in my symptoms afterwards. She said it may take more than one treatment to see results. (Btw the "treatment" consisted of me lying w/my eyes closed on a comfy massage table while she stood next to me waving her arms around back and forth over my body. It apparently has something to do with a person's "energy field".) The thing is, I really wanted to go into this whole thing with an open mind...but I wasn't really interested in any woo or spirituality. The belief system I came out of was VERY into woo, so that's a big turn-off for me now. I think part of that could be a knee-jerk reaction b/c I was hurt by my former spirituality. But the main reason it bugs me is that I see many of these people doing the same thing as people in Charismatic Christianity. They believe they can manipulate the outcome of life events through this belief system. They must suspend logic and reason in order to believe what they do. So, I guess I just don't know how to go forward with this. The women aren't pressuring me, but they do invite me to these "healing weekends" and stuff. I really enjoy the yoga and can see that it will provide real benefits to my health. There is a guided meditation at the end of the class. But I know that meditation is proven to relieve stress and to be beneficial, and it feels great, so I have no problem with it These women are all friends and they seem to want to welcome me into that friendship. I have no other friends since leaving church, so it would be nice to have friends again. But I guess I just don't want to be in a situation where I'm AGAIN the odd person in the room and the only one thinking logically and rationally. If I want, I can just show up for class and avoid the other stuff. But if I'm just going for the yoga, I could just do that at home w/a DVD and avoid the conflict. On the flip side, I wonder if I'm being too "close minded". Is there something to this stuff that they're into? Should I put my reservations aside and just try it out? But wouldn't that be suspending all logic and reason, just like I did when I was a Christian? <sigh> I remember my wife going to a chiropractor. You couldnt just go once every 6 months. You had to go several times a week. He was an obvious fraud and told us everything was cure-able with chiropractic. So we went to a friend of the family. He was more realisitc with his view of its therapeutic effect...still we had to go 'often' for an adjustment. It seems to me that if you 'must go often' to get an effect, the treatment is worthless. And if there is a fee or donation....cough gag...no thanks. And if you don't feel anything after the initial treatment....seems to me that future treatments are just attempts at brainwashing you into believing 'it works.' If you feel 'weird' with the energy treatment stuff, dont do it. If you do go for some woo gathering be vigilant, be skeptical, and watch for brainwashing. But who knows, maybe it's really just a social gathering. Shaman stuff might be fun. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noggy Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 Yeah, you could just not be easily offended yourself and just take a bit of time and learn about different people and their beliefs. It's not like they're going to bite your head off, and you'll get a bit of exercise while doing it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 I love knowing that there aren't energy fields, magic or other woo going on. The electroencephalograph disagrees with you regarding energy fields....'electrical' energy fields anyway..bahaha. But I know what you meant. Woo-fields. :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted May 2, 2012 Author Share Posted May 2, 2012 Ok, so I started attending a yoga class recently. It is held at a woman's home about 5 minutes from where we live. I was really happy to find this class b/c we live in a very small Bible Belt town. So I was amazed to find this group of women who aren't Christians. But there's a problem...the class is part of a "Wellness Center" operated out of a converted shop building. Here's a description from their website: "____ is a Center for spiritual exploration & holistic healing without judgement or competition. We are a group of like-minded people from all walks of life enjoying life thru community in yoga, energy healing, shamanism and other modalities." I've gone to 3 of the classes so far and before the class the women sit around and talk (most of them get there early). They seem like a fun group, pretty laid back and have a good sense of humor. But in their conversations, things have come up about their spiritual beliefs. For instance, the yoga instructor is of Native American heritage and is building a sweat lodge in her back yard. She talked about how she walked her property to find the right spot for it and why she felt "led" to build it on a particular site. Another woman commented excitedly about how the "spirit" led her to that perfect spot. Later on, a woman walked in and was all excited about this business deal she got that she'd been hoping for. She attributed her good fortune to the "energy work" she'd gotten at the center. She said that her colleagues left the voicemail about her getting the deal at the exact same time she was getting her treatment at the center. Some of the women were like, "oooohhh". The owner of the healing center does something called "Reconnective Healing". I did a little research on it and it was started by some guy who is a former chiropractor. It just reeks of a scam. He sells dvd's and does conferences teaching others how to do this "healing method". She offered to "work on me" a couple of times, so last night I agreed to it (she does this free for yoginis). I chose to be open-minded - I figured hey, if it helps why do I care how it works? But I didn't feel a thing and had no improvement in my symptoms afterwards. She said it may take more than one treatment to see results. (Btw the "treatment" consisted of me lying w/my eyes closed on a comfy massage table while she stood next to me waving her arms around back and forth over my body. It apparently has something to do with a person's "energy field".) The thing is, I really wanted to go into this whole thing with an open mind...but I wasn't really interested in any woo or spirituality. The belief system I came out of was VERY into woo, so that's a big turn-off for me now. I think part of that could be a knee-jerk reaction b/c I was hurt by my former spirituality. But the main reason it bugs me is that I see many of these people doing the same thing as people in Charismatic Christianity. They believe they can manipulate the outcome of life events through this belief system. They must suspend logic and reason in order to believe what they do. So, I guess I just don't know how to go forward with this. The women aren't pressuring me, but they do invite me to these "healing weekends" and stuff. I really enjoy the yoga and can see that it will provide real benefits to my health. There is a guided meditation at the end of the class. But I know that meditation is proven to relieve stress and to be beneficial, and it feels great, so I have no problem with it These women are all friends and they seem to want to welcome me into that friendship. I have no other friends since leaving church, so it would be nice to have friends again. But I guess I just don't want to be in a situation where I'm AGAIN the odd person in the room and the only one thinking logically and rationally. If I want, I can just show up for class and avoid the other stuff. But if I'm just going for the yoga, I could just do that at home w/a DVD and avoid the conflict. On the flip side, I wonder if I'm being too "close minded". Is there something to this stuff that they're into? Should I put my reservations aside and just try it out? But wouldn't that be suspending all logic and reason, just like I did when I was a Christian? <sigh> I remember my wife going to a chiropractor. You couldnt just go once every 6 months. You had to go several times a week. He was an obvious fraud and told us everything was cure-able with chiropractic. So we went to a friend of the family. He was more realisitc with his view of its therapeutic effect...still we had to go 'often' for an adjustment. It seems to me that if you 'must go often' to get an effect, the treatment is worthless. And if there is a fee or donation....cough gag...no thanks. And if you don't feel anything after the initial treatment....seems to me that future treatments are just attempts at brainwashing you into believing 'it works.' If you feel 'weird' with the energy treatment stuff, dont do it. If you do go for some woo gathering be vigilant, be skeptical, and watch for brainwashing. But who knows, maybe it's really just a social gathering. Shaman stuff might be fun. Was that a "Maximized Living" chiropractor, by any chance? I ask b/c they're a chain of chiro's and that is their MO. I went to one of them for 6 months. You have to agree to a "treatment plan" up front and commit to make payments. Then you start out by going 3 x per week, then the amount lessens over time. It was definitely a scam. After I was going for awhile I did some research (should've done that sooner!) and found out they've gotten LOTS of complaints. I think there are some good chiro's out there. We go to one occasionally and she's great - doesn't make big promises or require you to come a certain number of times. One adjustment usually takes care of J's occasional lower back pain. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 I think the sticky part is knowing how to interact with people who's worldview is informed by their belief in something like that. ~~~ So it just makes it tempting for me to avoid people who think differently. But I don't really want to be like that. I mean, I don't care if these women want to live the way they do. If it's working for them, then why should I care? Live and let live. But then, my next thought is "But it's NOT working for them! They're just delusional!". Agh! Maybe it's just part of your growth stage. Coming out of lifelong Christianity, where everyone has a cookie cutter belief system, we have to learn how to have/be friends all over again. At least I did. I am trying to put myself out there so I can reclaim this part of my personhood. I attended a neighbor's party and they are HUGE into woo. We brought our djembe and vegetarian dishes. We got there and within 30 seconds I am greeted by two neo-hippies asking me what my astrological sign is. They were serious! LOL! So I told them and they prattled on about who I should talk to at the party and made guesses about me. Anyhow, they started a drum circle. People were smoking weed (not me!), dancing, and everyone else (12 of us) were drumming on everything from djembes to tupperware. And you know what? I have never felt so human in my entire life! I admit I'm scared off by the Christian experiences of my past. I don't hang out regularly with woo*-type people, but the odd reference is OK. When people want to talk about woo*, I let them talk and I ask them questions (as a hardcore positivist myself). Often, when you scratch the surface, they admit that it might all be in their heads. You may find that oftentimes, people are not nearly as wedded to their ideas as fundagelical believers are. I think that makes a lot of difference! *I didn't know woo was a bad word either, Florduh! Woo, like drinking or basketball can be a fun pasttime when used in moderation. lol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
midniterider Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 Ok, so I started attending a yoga class recently. It is held at a woman's home about 5 minutes from where we live. I was really happy to find this class b/c we live in a very small Bible Belt town. So I was amazed to find this group of women who aren't Christians. But there's a problem...the class is part of a "Wellness Center" operated out of a converted shop building. Here's a description from their website: "____ is a Center for spiritual exploration & holistic healing without judgement or competition. We are a group of like-minded people from all walks of life enjoying life thru community in yoga, energy healing, shamanism and other modalities." I've gone to 3 of the classes so far and before the class the women sit around and talk (most of them get there early). They seem like a fun group, pretty laid back and have a good sense of humor. But in their conversations, things have come up about their spiritual beliefs. For instance, the yoga instructor is of Native American heritage and is building a sweat lodge in her back yard. She talked about how she walked her property to find the right spot for it and why she felt "led" to build it on a particular site. Another woman commented excitedly about how the "spirit" led her to that perfect spot. Later on, a woman walked in and was all excited about this business deal she got that she'd been hoping for. She attributed her good fortune to the "energy work" she'd gotten at the center. She said that her colleagues left the voicemail about her getting the deal at the exact same time she was getting her treatment at the center. Some of the women were like, "oooohhh". The owner of the healing center does something called "Reconnective Healing". I did a little research on it and it was started by some guy who is a former chiropractor. It just reeks of a scam. He sells dvd's and does conferences teaching others how to do this "healing method". She offered to "work on me" a couple of times, so last night I agreed to it (she does this free for yoginis). I chose to be open-minded - I figured hey, if it helps why do I care how it works? But I didn't feel a thing and had no improvement in my symptoms afterwards. She said it may take more than one treatment to see results. (Btw the "treatment" consisted of me lying w/my eyes closed on a comfy massage table while she stood next to me waving her arms around back and forth over my body. It apparently has something to do with a person's "energy field".) The thing is, I really wanted to go into this whole thing with an open mind...but I wasn't really interested in any woo or spirituality. The belief system I came out of was VERY into woo, so that's a big turn-off for me now. I think part of that could be a knee-jerk reaction b/c I was hurt by my former spirituality. But the main reason it bugs me is that I see many of these people doing the same thing as people in Charismatic Christianity. They believe they can manipulate the outcome of life events through this belief system. They must suspend logic and reason in order to believe what they do. So, I guess I just don't know how to go forward with this. The women aren't pressuring me, but they do invite me to these "healing weekends" and stuff. I really enjoy the yoga and can see that it will provide real benefits to my health. There is a guided meditation at the end of the class. But I know that meditation is proven to relieve stress and to be beneficial, and it feels great, so I have no problem with it These women are all friends and they seem to want to welcome me into that friendship. I have no other friends since leaving church, so it would be nice to have friends again. But I guess I just don't want to be in a situation where I'm AGAIN the odd person in the room and the only one thinking logically and rationally. If I want, I can just show up for class and avoid the other stuff. But if I'm just going for the yoga, I could just do that at home w/a DVD and avoid the conflict. On the flip side, I wonder if I'm being too "close minded". Is there something to this stuff that they're into? Should I put my reservations aside and just try it out? But wouldn't that be suspending all logic and reason, just like I did when I was a Christian? <sigh> I remember my wife going to a chiropractor. You couldnt just go once every 6 months. You had to go several times a week. He was an obvious fraud and told us everything was cure-able with chiropractic. So we went to a friend of the family. He was more realisitc with his view of its therapeutic effect...still we had to go 'often' for an adjustment. It seems to me that if you 'must go often' to get an effect, the treatment is worthless. And if there is a fee or donation....cough gag...no thanks. And if you don't feel anything after the initial treatment....seems to me that future treatments are just attempts at brainwashing you into believing 'it works.' If you feel 'weird' with the energy treatment stuff, dont do it. If you do go for some woo gathering be vigilant, be skeptical, and watch for brainwashing. But who knows, maybe it's really just a social gathering. Shaman stuff might be fun. Was that a "Maximized Living" chiropractor, by any chance? I ask b/c they're a chain of chiro's and that is their MO. I went to one of them for 6 months. You have to agree to a "treatment plan" up front and commit to make payments. Then you start out by going 3 x per week, then the amount lessens over time. It was definitely a scam. After I was going for awhile I did some research (should've done that sooner!) and found out they've gotten LOTS of complaints. I think there are some good chiro's out there. We go to one occasionally and she's great - doesn't make big promises or require you to come a certain number of times. One adjustment usually takes care of J's occasional lower back pain. Not sure what the name of the fraud chiro scammer's program was. I do remember him heavily implying that EVERY condition was treatable by chiropractic since every part of the body was directly or indirectly connected to the spine. So his sweeping statement made me wonder about things like brain tumors being treated by chiropractic? Don't think so. Neither has chiropractic cured AIDS nor probably any other disease. This guy relied on his customers not thinking too much and buying his bullshit...like a preacher. I would say chiropractic does have some value but it is probably limited to spinal problems. 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ConureDelSol Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 I'm a little worried about this myself. I finally found a Buddhist meditation group near me but they meet in a Unitarian Universalist church. I can't help but wonder if they go to church services as well. From what I've heard, Unitarians can be quite wooish. I don't know where you heard that. It hasn't been my experience at all in the 30+ years I've attended UU churches. I suppose some individual congregations might vary, but I'd be surprised that any of them are "wooish." Haha, well I have to take what I heard with a grain of salt since I heard it from my parents. It was around the time they said "You can go to any church you want!" Then, when I pointed out the UU church they were, "NOT that one, they're not real Christians." They basically described it as new agey and stuff too. Then again, I have friends who went there and they didn't seem particularly wooish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 On the flip side, I wonder if I'm being too "close minded". Is there something to this stuff that they're into? Should I put my reservations aside and just try it out? But wouldn't that be suspending all logic and reason, just like I did when I was a Christian? You are such a sweetie Seriously, I just want to cuddle you all up and feed you chocolate ice cream. I can't even imagine how you manage to be so forgiving and gentle to people. I used to be active with a very very large RL pagan community in a major metro city and there was a mix of just about everybody there--from the furries and scalies to the eclectic Wiccans all the way up to the hardcore reconstructionists. One thing I noticed quickly was that people tended to be very open and accepting of others' philosophies and faith systems. I admired that, because I'd never seen it among Christians. There are a lot of different ways of approaching the sense of the divine in the human psyche. Some folks label it Christianity and pray and fast to affect the world around them. Some folks call it the Triple Goddess and light sage and go hang out naked in fields to hold hands and chant (helLO, Florduh!). I think of them as all just ways to bring about positive thinking in ourselves. Prayer and fasting doesn't seem functionally different from backing over a package of Oreos so Hermes will keep your car alive before a long drive (true story, but not mine); they're both ways of trying to affect the world. Even long after leaving fundamentalism I find myself drawn to the idea of these rituals having value, but I don't seriously think that rituals actually do anything in and of themselves, but serve as focus points for our own minds. If someone's driving over perfectly good Oreo cookies, chances are she's also making sure her car's oil pressure is kept stable and that her tires are properly inflated, though maybe that's just my optimism speaking. In answer to your question about whether there's anything to it, the answer from me at least would be "sort of; it depends on what you mean by the question." Will these silly women think that rituals really keep their cars running? Yes, probably. But it makes me feel more gentle toward them to recognize that what they're really doing is keeping their minds focused on car maintenance. On the one hand I think maybe you're still a bit raw from the abuses of Christianity to really dig some of the stuff they're putting out, but on the other I think if you feel up to it, it might be worth trying some of it to see how you can connect it to ration. It's not surprising to me that you'd see them talking like that and immediately wonder if they're just fundies but in a different way. The answer is yes, they are, to an extent. They definitely believe in shit that cannot be shown to be true, and they definitely won't appreciate someone shitting on their love-parade by asking them to show evidence or GTFO. But that may be the extent of their dogma. Fundamentalism's hallmarks are orthodoxy in thought and a rigid refusal to recognize differences in opinion. These ladies sound pretty out-there to me, stark raving mad actually, like they've just exchanged one mode of magical thinking for another, but they seem sweet and friendly, and they are likely harmless. The group I was in would probably have found them a little unnerving but cheerful. If you start feeling like the odd woman out, say so. Be honest about where you've come from and how you feel in private to the group's leader. "It's hard for me to hear things like that because church did it too and it was just so damaging to me psychologically. I'm worried that because I just don't see things the same way, I'm going to end up feeling alienated." See what she has to say about it. If the group makes you feel alienated, don't be scared to discover you're just too busy to meet for yoga, but maybe you can make it to coffee or a movie for girls' night out (when they're likely to be less religious-sounding). Again, they seem cheerful and sweet to me, so if you can take the religious stuff with a grain of salt, I bet they'll turn out to be lovely friends. Also, I think it's cute about you and your sweetie together on a thread. My DH is considering joining, since apparently he was a Christian as a child, and I'm going to tell him there's another couple on here to sway him. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted May 2, 2012 Author Share Posted May 2, 2012 On the flip side, I wonder if I'm being too "close minded". Is there something to this stuff that they're into? Should I put my reservations aside and just try it out? But wouldn't that be suspending all logic and reason, just like I did when I was a Christian? You are such a sweetie Seriously, I just want to cuddle you all up and feed you chocolate ice cream. I can't even imagine how you manage to be so forgiving and gentle to people. These ladies sound pretty out-there to me, stark raving mad actually, like they've just exchanged one mode of magical thinking for another, but they seem sweet and friendly, and they are likely harmless. The group I was in would probably have found them a little unnerving but cheerful. If you start feeling like the odd woman out, say so. Be honest about where you've come from and how you feel in private to the group's leader. "It's hard for me to hear things like that because church did it too and it was just so damaging to me psychologically. I'm worried that because I just don't see things the same way, I'm going to end up feeling alienated." See what she has to say about it. If the group makes you feel alienated, don't be scared to discover you're just too busy to meet for yoga, but maybe you can make it to coffee or a movie for girls' night out (when they're likely to be less religious-sounding). Again, they seem cheerful and sweet to me, so if you can take the religious stuff with a grain of salt, I bet they'll turn out to be lovely friends. Also, I think it's cute about you and your sweetie together on a thread. My DH is considering joining, since apparently he was a Christian as a child, and I'm going to tell him there's another couple on here to sway him. Aw thanks, Akheia! I love chocolate ice cream! I wish I were THAT gentle and sweet. My first instinct is to be negative and un-trusting with people. But that's just a defense mechanism. I've seen love work "miracles" too many times to let myself relate to people out of judgment and self-protection. I've learned a lot about that from my sweetie. I think you're right that these women are pretty harmless. I have a class tonight so if I can make it I will try to talk to the yoga instructor about getting together. I hope your husband comes to the forum! That way me and J won't seem so weird! haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted May 2, 2012 Author Share Posted May 2, 2012 Hi Agord, hope things are going better. Hey, thanks, ficino- things are definitely better than last week. I am playing almost totally normally, almost all the time, and starting to see that this could be psychological. Am keeping an eye on it; but the bullshit "prognosis" that that lunatic quack neurologist said to me, is starting to look seriously doubtful, thanks be to whomever it is that might be in charge of this universe. OK, OP, I don't mean to hijack your thread. I hope that you'll consider staying in your yoga class; sometimes a little bit of moonbattiness is seriously good for our blood pressure. No worries, Agord. Glad you are doing better! I read your post about the problem you were having and was hoping you'd find relief. I had a somewhat similar thing happen to me - it was pain in an area that I was associating with my bladder which caused me to have urinary symptoms (sorry if that's TMI). Once I went to a doc and realized thru an exam that the pain was actually not coming from my bladder, the urinary symptoms almost completely stopped. I was amazed that my mind could produce such strong symptoms! I had become convinced that I had a serious bladder condition and was pretty freaked out about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ClaraOlive Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 They believe they can manipulate the outcome of life events through this belief system. They must suspend logic and reason in order to believe what they do. I really like this discription. What I think you may want to find out is whether their friendship is based around their shared beliefs (that you won't be able to share in) or whether the friendships go beyond the mystical stuff. Honestly, even when people are non-judgmental, if their commonality is something you can't share, it can be hard to really be a part of the group. Like trying to bring your cat to a dog-walking group. I think what else might help you is not relying on this one group for your total social activity. I know that it's hard to leave the church and suddenly have no friends, and the opportunity to have a group again is very appealing - especially a group of friends with structure and activities. But if you decide to continue being involved in these classes, I think you should also keep searching for new and likeminded friends in other areas. It is much easier to set boundaries as to what you're comfortable doing when you're not afraid that saying no will make you friendless again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ro-bear Posted May 2, 2012 Share Posted May 2, 2012 People just want to believe shit; they want to attribute stuff that comes out of them, like where to build the sweat lodge, to something universal and powerful so they can feel linked to that and by extension universal and powerful. Like Florduh says, it's pretty harmless from the new age types; they like to sell it, but they don't care if you don't buy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 What I think you may want to find out is whether their friendship is based around their shared beliefs (that you won't be able to share in) or whether the friendships go beyond the mystical stuff. Honestly, even when people are non-judgmental, if their commonality is something you can't share, it can be hard to really be a part of the group. Like trying to bring your cat to a dog-walking group. I think what else might help you is not relying on this one group for your total social activity. I know that it's hard to leave the church and suddenly have no friends, and the opportunity to have a group again is very appealing - especially a group of friends with structure and activities. But if you decide to continue being involved in these classes, I think you should also keep searching for new and likeminded friends in other areas. It is much easier to set boundaries as to what you're comfortable doing when you're not afraid that saying no will make you friendless again. That's good advice, Clara. Before the class tonight there was more talk of woo...2 sisters saying that they hit some kind of "time warp" on a road trip. They genuinely believed they "miraculously" got somewhere 30 minutes early. Then one of them advised another woman to say a certain thing to the car/people driving slowly in front of her and that when she does this, the car will always move to the other lane. OMG! Really? Damn, I'm tryin' to be open-minded and all, but shit! My brains did not fall out of my head on the way there! Come on, people! So, for now I've decided to get there right on time, do the yoga (which I still love) and leave when it's over. You're right, it's like takin' a freakin' cat to a dog-walking group. These women are genuinely nice people, but I just don't think I'm this desperate for friends. I can't check my brain at the door like that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Jesus fucking christ these are some looney ladies. I'm trying not to giggle while DH is to sleep and it's just not working. I can be fairly open-minded but that blew me out of the spiritual robo-rally like a clawbot. I take it all back. They're nuts. It's a nice nuts, but the social dynamic sounds like a less malevolent version of the play "The Crucible" with them all feeding off each other's weirdness and escalating it. I think your solution sounds like the best one can do with a situation like that. At least the yoga is fun and the gals are relatively benign. Get them away from that environment and they might be less oogly-boogly. Now then, all together! LET'S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lunaticheathen Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Yeeaahhh, I'm leaning towards nut farm too. And I have some whacky beliefs. These things are just....fucking silly. Gods. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Moderator florduh Posted May 3, 2012 Super Moderator Share Posted May 3, 2012 They're starting to sound entertaining. I'd hang with them for a few beers. Just don't let them take your picture and steal your soul. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R. S. Martin Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 Here's a description from their website: "____ is a Center for spiritual exploration & holistic healing without judgement or competition. We are a group of like-minded people from all walks of life enjoying life thru community in yoga, energy healing, shamanism and other modalities." <snip> The thing is, I really wanted to go into this whole thing with an open mind...but I wasn't really interested in any woo or spirituality. My dear friend--okay I haven't read the other posts yet so maybe someone else has already said it--shamanism is spirituality just as much as is Pentecostal faith healing or the New Birth. Christians call it magic. So what. As my NT prof said, "One person's miracle is another person's magic." In my search for evidence of the supernatural I also examined shamanism. As you say, it is very similar to charismatic Christian practices. That the Christians reject the similarities or say aboriginal peoples and wika/pagans do it through the devil or false gods or whatever does not make it less supernaturalistic or "spiritual." I am not hereby condemning our friends on ExChristian Spirituality. I am simply stating that shamanism is spiritual and if you don't want to be involved with/exposed to spirituality you will have to look elsewhere to get your healthcare and social needs met. I do hope you find something. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 3, 2012 Share Posted May 3, 2012 They're starting to sound entertaining. I'd hang with them for a few beers. Just don't let them take your picture and steal your soul. In very small doses I think they'd be a hoot too. But my idea of small doses is a few hours a month. Don't worry unless they want a lock of hair. Having seen the vanity webpages of a few dozen New Agers, I can tell you they don't mind photographs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2Honest Posted May 3, 2012 Author Share Posted May 3, 2012 One other little detail I didn't share - the woman who runs the center has a "psychic" husband. J and I had dinner with them after the first yoga class and he started asking me if I had a dead grandmother and giving me a "message" from her. His wife asked me at the next class if I was freaked out about it. I said no. (Which I wasn't, it's just not my thing.) Her husband was very sweet (they are in their early 70's) and I think he genuinely believes the spirits of people talk to him. I didn't get a vibe that he was trying to scam us or anything. So anyway at the next class, the wife told me that he had more to share with me (from Grandma) but it had to be in private b/c it was of a personal nature (?). She said if I wanted to talk to him about it I could or if not that was totally ok, too. I never brought it up again and neither has she. So apparently her husband does this all the time. He said he even goes into trances sometimes when "they" talk to him. His wife told this story about how, on some trip they took to Europe (he's British), he was acting like an ass and they kept fighting. Then she realized he was "channeling" her dead father. So she proceeds to have this whole conversation with her dead father through her husband. I kid you not! I know that now you're all thinking "RUN! GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE!" But, I'm gonna keep going to the classes. I would consider going somewhere else, but the nearest place is the local gym and our former pastors go there, their sons both work there, and other church people go there, too. So that's not an option. Other than that I'd have to drive 20 minutes one way to get to the other one (plus pay to join the gym). These people aren't being pushy at all so far, so I'll just show up and do the yoga and duck out when it's over. Hey, if nothing else this will be great fodder for further posts! I can keep y'all up to date on all the latest woo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Positivist Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 But, I'm gonna keep going to the classes. Hey, if nothing else this will be great fodder for further posts! I can keep y'all up to date on all the latest woo. This group is whacky, man! But I totally understand the logistics of distance and time driving. If these people are good and kind, then maybe like you say, take the rest at entertainment value. Good and kind people are sometimes entertaining as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Akheia Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 Oh boy. I was wondering when some crazy "psychic" would try to cold read you. I could have so much fun fucking with this guy's head. Think of him exactly as you would a fundie who "has a special message from the Lord for you." It's an attention ploy that makes him feel important. My hands all but itch thinking of the fun that could be had here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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