Akheia Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 There could be so many reasons he didn't answer. BP, you're right -- it's not worth worrying about. You said your piece; he knows where you stand; he knows where to find you if/when he does decide to get in touch. I think you're handling the situation perfectly, FWIW People have all kinds of shit going on in their lives. As tempting as it is to feel let down by his lack of response, I'm just not willing to judge the guy; he's in a different situation that may be a little hard for us to understand fully. As Jerry DeWitt's showing us through his Clergy Project, a lot of variables go into a (onetime) clergyman's reactions to a declaration of non-faith. The kindest and most loving thing anybody can do is give the guy some patience and room. It may take years, but one day he may just find himself remembering that he might have *one* port in the storm who'll listen to his cares. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CDFree Posted June 15, 2012 Share Posted June 15, 2012 Exactly, TotalWreck 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted June 16, 2012 Author Share Posted June 16, 2012 There could be so many reasons he didn't answer. BP, you're right -- it's not worth worrying about. You said your piece; he knows where you stand; he knows where to find you if/when he does decide to get in touch. I think you're handling the situation perfectly, FWIW People have all kinds of shit going on in their lives. As tempting as it is to feel let down by his lack of response, I'm just not willing to judge the guy; he's in a different situation that may be a little hard for us to understand fully. As Jerry DeWitt's showing us through his Clergy Project, a lot of variables go into a (onetime) clergyman's reactions to a declaration of non-faith. The kindest and most loving thing anybody can do is give the guy some patience and room. It may take years, but one day he may just find himself remembering that he might have *one* port in the storm who'll listen to his cares. That's pretty much it in a nutshell, Akheia. I don't know what's going on, but I'm just going to let it be. I don't see a lack of a response to an email as a valid reason to lose respect for someone and judge them. If that was all it took to lose respect for someone, well, I wouldn't have anyone left to respect, and no-one would respect me, because goodness knows I've gotten distracted plenty of times by life and forgotten all about replying to an email, only to remember months later. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
openpalm45 Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 There could be so many reasons he didn't answer. BP, you're right -- it's not worth worrying about. You said your piece; he knows where you stand; he knows where to find you if/when he does decide to get in touch. I think you're handling the situation perfectly, FWIW People have all kinds of shit going on in their lives. As tempting as it is to feel let down by his lack of response, I'm just not willing to judge the guy; he's in a different situation that may be a little hard for us to understand fully. As Jerry DeWitt's showing us through his Clergy Project, a lot of variables go into a (onetime) clergyman's reactions to a declaration of non-faith. The kindest and most loving thing anybody can do is give the guy some patience and room. It may take years, but one day he may just find himself remembering that he might have *one* port in the storm who'll listen to his cares. That's pretty much it in a nutshell, Akheia. I don't know what's going on, but I'm just going to let it be. I don't see a lack of a response to an email as a valid reason to lose respect for someone and judge them. If that was all it took to lose respect for someone, well, I wouldn't have anyone left to respect, and no-one would respect me, because goodness knows I've gotten distracted plenty of times by life and forgotten all about replying to an email, only to remember months later. Yes, yes, and yes. A lack of response is certainly no reason to lose respect for someone. People and life are much more complicated than that. Things are not always what they seem, and you cannot jump to such quick and easy conclusions. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BrotherJosh Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 Pudd - Your experience has been much the same as mine. I tried reaching out to a few close friends in the church community, mainly just because I felt their friendship warranted a real and honest explanation. It wasn't out of a desire to debate or challenge beliefs, but rather just genuine conversation. Instead, I was met with deaf ears, and ignored attempts at contact. More and more, I realized these people want to live in their own bubble. And when you intrude on the bubble, you are a threat to the bubble. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blackpudd1n Posted June 16, 2012 Author Share Posted June 16, 2012 Pudd - Your experience has been much the same as mine. I tried reaching out to a few close friends in the church community, mainly just because I felt their friendship warranted a real and honest explanation. It wasn't out of a desire to debate or challenge beliefs, but rather just genuine conversation. Instead, I was met with deaf ears, and ignored attempts at contact. More and more, I realized these people want to live in their own bubble. And when you intrude on the bubble, you are a threat to the bubble. To be honest, while a reply would be nice, it doesn't worry me too much. I've said what I wanted to say, so I'll just close the door and leave the light on. If someone as formerly so fundamentalist as myself could deconvert, then there's hope for anyone, really 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TotalWreck Posted June 16, 2012 Share Posted June 16, 2012 Pudd - Your experience has been much the same as mine. I tried reaching out to a few close friends in the church community, mainly just because I felt their friendship warranted a real and honest explanation. It wasn't out of a desire to debate or challenge beliefs, but rather just genuine conversation. Instead, I was met with deaf ears, and ignored attempts at contact. More and more, I realized these people want to live in their own bubble. And when you intrude on the bubble, you are a threat to the bubble. That's exactly what I'm guessing is what happened with this guy. Still, I don't understand why people lie and say things like "Oh I was just going to get back to you" and then three or so weeks later still nothing (after having already had three weeks to reply). I just get tired of people who can't just come out and say what they're really thinking. What's wrong with saying "I don't know how to answer your questions since I don't have all the answers myself."? I just like people who are "real" and can admit that they're human because NOBODY knows all the answers to everything. Anyways, as I said in another post, just knowing that Pudd obviously gave him something to think about leaves a grin on my face, regardless of if he ever answers back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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