ShallowByThyGame Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 My rule for social activities... When you dread attending something, or the anticipation of something makes you anxious, it is often healthier to skip the event and analyze how that makes you feel. It sometimes give the needed contrast to make an accurate decision about how you want to spend your time. If you feel great then maybe you don't need the event. If you honestly missed going then maybe you will get more excited about the next time. For example, I have no problem with the concept of say a mmorpg like World of Warcraft, but when it becomes a 'chore' to log on then I feel it is okay to 'flake out' on the community. Why spend times doing something you don't really want to do? So I guess my point is...if church makes you happy, and you look forward to it, then great. But if when Sunday morning comes and you deeply wish it was still Saturday, maybe you should take some time off and see how you feel about it. You don't owe the community much more than 'i need a break'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mongo Posted August 24, 2009 Share Posted August 24, 2009 Sound a little more sensible? Does to me. Although I haven't chimed in on your thread yet, I have been following it. I just wanted to give you some public respect for being willing to practice genuine and fruitful self-examination. That willingness is something that's sorely lacking in our society and in the "Body of Christ," particularly. When I see it, I see high quality of character. When I don't see it, I see low quality of character. (One of the things which attracts me to the community on this site is the preponderance of members who clearly do have that kind of courage and will.) Thanks Loren for pointing that out! I also like the idea that all of us (I hope) support the idea that Fidd makes her own decision and we're good with that. Nothing evil will happen and if it doesn't work out as planned then tomorrow is a new day, its a lesson learned and we need not worry about eternal consequences. Mongo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OpheliaGinger Posted August 25, 2009 Share Posted August 25, 2009 I'm of a slightly different mind. If I were involved with a choir and the leader needed to know who would be in or out so they can base their song selections, I would just simply tell the leader that I will not be attending any more choir meetings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shyone Posted August 26, 2009 Share Posted August 26, 2009 Sorry to be blunt, but I just wouldn't go there. No e-mails. I can appreciate your wanting to be honest with the clergy, but what would this accomplish? Clergy make their living being clergy. Its their livelihood. I had a talk with my clergy when I was seriously doubting, or at least seriously questioning. It wasn't helpful, but not painful either. I almost resented his telling me, "You are obviously having doubts." No! I was looking for answers! It's your clergy's job to keep the flock together. Communion after apostasy? You've got to be kidding. Just buy a bottle of wine and a loaf of bread and have a picnic. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AC Skeptic Posted September 4, 2009 Share Posted September 4, 2009 I had a somewhat similar experience. I was ready to leave my church but to do so needed to write a letter to my pastor explaining my leaving. My best friend, an atheist, warned me that I shouldn't put anything into print I didn't want to the whole world to read. I agreed with him and yet my hands were tied, I did not belong to a church where I could just stop showing up. I had to actively disentangle from ministry and even without that they would have noticed immediately that I wasn't there. There would be phone calls. I am a much better at expressing myself in writing then in person, so I thought it best to preempt with a letter. Of course, I wasn't entirely honest in the letter. In it I declare my beliefs are too liberal for the church (which is true), but stopped short of admitting I didn't really believe any of it anymore. This omission seemingly implied I would find a more liberal church, which I might eventually do but it is unlikely and certainly won't be any time soon. Sadly the same pastor has now asked where I am going... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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