Eponymic Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 True enough, BUT!! Be careful. There isn't really evidence to support intelligence as being hereditary. We can't start dabbling in amateur eugenics projects here...last folks who tried that one wore funny brown or black uniforms with red, white, and black armbands. They favored a stiff-legged march and a stiff outstretched arm salute, and from what I read, their goals were pretty bad news for some 6 million people. Though intelligent people could certainly be expected to RAISE their kids intelligently and with an emphasis on the importance of developing mental skills of course. I've always been more a proponent of Nurture than Nature..though Nature probably has some extent of influence of course. Still if the only examples a young girl has growing up is the Britany Spears Model...one can hardly expect she would think to aim higher all on her own. Intelligence probably isn't hereditary. It's like you said, intelligent people raise their kids to have intelligence, and dumb people...well, don't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted January 14, 2009 Share Posted January 14, 2009 Maybe intelligence is overrated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
noob Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 It turns out they're not so bad on rye bread with some mayonnaise. I like 'em slow-roasted with a nice blend of herbs and spices and a side of BBQ sauce for dipping, personally. Every time I look at this thread I am reminded of this license plate! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eponymic Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Maybe intelligence is overrated Wait... You're not being serious are you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Zoo Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 But there is one reaction that ticks me off to no end. Many older people take it upon themselves to tell me that I'll "feel differently once you have them." To me, it feeds into the popular fundie-esque idea that woman are only useful for producing children and that I will have children at some point. Also, why the hell would you recommend that a person who says they hate children have them?! Just to make sure they truly hate them? I hate that though, anyone else ever get that? I hate it too. Other than I simply have no desire, I have lots of reasons for it (family history of depression of which I got a double dose, PCOS is apparently also hereditary and made the former worse, there are enough people on this planet already, I think I would suck as a parent to humans [i play with my kitten the way people play with 2yos, but it would never occur to me to play with a kid that way], the kind of work I intend to eventually be in would make it difficult, etc.). It doesn't matter to most people though. Last mother's day church service I attended (been a few years) they had the mothers all stand like usual. THEN they made all the other females stand and told us not to worry because we'd get our turn soon. That still bugs me (presuming you know who I am and what I want always bugs me anyway, but this seemed a bit worse). And even approaching 27, while I'll grant I still have some experience to gain, I'm still apparently way too young to know what's good for me, despite the experience I do have that a lot of other people my age might not (I hope they don't). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trike Posted January 15, 2009 Author Share Posted January 15, 2009 [i play with my kitten the way people play with 2yos, but it would never occur to me to play with a kid that way]... I was once left alone in a room with my best friend's future 3 year old niece and I didn't quite know how to amuse her. So I tossed a ball to her. It went past her and she ran over to it and brought it back. I threw it again, same result. After a few minutes my friend's mom walked into the room, looked confused and exclaimed, "Are you playing fetch with Jersey?!" And Noob, I LOVE that license plate! I wrote a blog entry on the same topic as the OP and featured it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Oh wow! I've played fetch with little kids too! They LOVE it! Besides...at that age, they are on equal footing with young dogs anyway. It's actually a very good exercise. Oooh....I bet we could coerce the next parent who is appalled seeing us play fetch with their kids that we'd read some article in the Parenting mags we "always" pine over (yeah right...but THEY would buy it) where they talked about the hand-eye coordination skills, the sharing and partnership skills, and even object placement skills kids learn from it (and yes...I'm pulling this outta my ass). If anyone else recalls the Baby Bullshit episode Penn & Teller did....parents are easily convinced by that kind of BS. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The-Captain Posted January 15, 2009 Share Posted January 15, 2009 Maybe intelligence is overrated Wait... You're not being serious are you? Half serious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PaulQ Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I felt my biological clock when I was 18, I really felt like I wanted a baby. Then I went to Germany and worked as an au pair. The mom gave the kids treats and chocolate every day to shut them up and never played with them. The kids were crazy, rude, violent, had no rules and they were bored. \he mom was a career woman before, but had to become a stay at home mom. She seemed miserable and did nothing but gain weight, but a good catholic should have kids apparantly. My desire to have kids changed radically. I will have kids one day, if I am able, but they are to have a strict Captain von Trapp up-bringing. There is a custom here in Sweden that kids only get candy on Saturdays, and I intend to stick to it. Holy shit, that sounds exactly like my mother-in-law. She INSISTS that my son go stay with her for the weekend. When he does, all she does is shove his maw full of candies, chocolate, and cakes; then expects him to just sit in front of the TV and watch it. Naturally, when he's raring up to burn off some calories, she calls us up and lets us know she's done with him. Little does she know, he and I have a lot of fun burning off all that energy, so when he crashes, he's ready for some sleep time anyway. Like that German mother, there's no rules at her house. My son can rule the roost if he likes. Fortunately, he fully understands that me and his mother are the ULTIMATE rulers in his world, and that Grandma Inlaw has no REAL power over his life. Like the German mother, mother-in-law struggles a losing battle with her weight, seems miserable all the time, but is a good Christian. I am so happy my wife wants to be nothing like her. It's somewhat relevant; but I live in Canada, where temperatures can drop radically to the double-digits Celsius. I've taught my 9 year old son to dress in layers this time of year, and the importance of long underwear, scarfs, and general appropriate cold-weather dress. The result is that my son can easily endure the 15 minute walk to Grandma's house when the temperature is -20 Celsius, yet he will be sweating by the time he arrives and desires more cold exposure to "Cool down." She is appalled that we would let him walk in such cold climate, and insists that we drive him back home. Result is that he doesn't visit her as often as he could; but that's okay. He still enjoys the cold weather and the fact that the lessons I taught him have helped him to thrive in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vendredie Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I hate grown-ups. I'm not sorry at all. My life is ruled by grown-ups. Grown-ups say I have to wake up at 6 am every morning, drive half an hour to school that starts at 8:20 am. Grown-ups say that I have to do extra-curricular stuff just because it looks good on my college applications. Grown-ups say I have to suffer through a math class I barely understand so that I can pass the state test and go to college. Grown-ups say I can't drive during certain times, can't stay up too late (11 pm is apparently too late), can't get a boyfriend (though at the same time they urge me to get a boyfriend, lest I become a lesbian!) or go to church. Grown-ups say I have to wear knee-length skirts and short to school. Grown-ups say I can't go to Subway for lunch after exams and then come back for winter percussion. Grown-ups say I have to wear an ID to school, because obviously the 4 teachers I see everyday have no idea who I am. If "grown-ups" can say they hate kids and teenagers, then I reserve the right to say I hate most adults. I hate parents who expect the state to raise their kids, and don't take responsibility for the little monsters they raised. They support all of the bullshit rules that my school comes up with, because "it's the new standard". BULLSHIT. That's not standards! Then they complain that schools suck and their kids aren't learning. When they talk to adults they praise their kid as if the sun shines out of his anus, but when the kid gets detention or is rude, they turn around and attack the kid's character-- the kid is rude, violent, ignores Authority. They give in to their kids just so they'd shut up. I have the feeling that at 17, I know how to teach and raise kids better than most 40 year olds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
white_raven23 Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 If "grown-ups" can say they hate kids and teenagers, then I reserve the right to say I hate most adults. Fair enough. But remember, you are 17...you only have another year before the System waves it's magic butt-wand bestowing you with adulthood, regardless of whether or not they've bothered to train you properly for the responsibility. The moment you turn 18...instead of hearing the "babies having babies" BS....you will start getting the EXACT OPPOSITE message to BREED...BREED ALREADY!! There IS a lot of BS teens are expected to just swallow. And all the Skool Rulz in place to "force" you to "respect" people who are too lazy to actually EARN your respect....ALL go AWAY. Life IS unfair and positively fascist for teens...and that is getting worse instead of better. You are all assumed guilty and must prove your innocence. It sucks, it's wrong, and it's even less fair than life will be afterward. I would never go back to that age if I could. Never. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Taphophilia Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 My daughter and her friends came into my work the other day and everyone was on my ass about how they looked. I was really pissed. They are a bunch of teenage computer geeks, how the hell are they supposed to look? I want to get the bumper sticker, "My kid hacked your honor students computer". You know what, though. My daughter and her friends would be there for anyone who they even thought needed their help. If someone they know has a computer problem, they will fix it for free, just because they can. If someone moves in to the neighborhood, they are in the back of the moving van helping them move in. I have the elderly people in my neighborhood call me to ask for my daughters help and she's over there in a minute helping them out. Why? Because no one else will. I'm proud of my children because of who they are as people, not what I or anyone else thinks they should be. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodsmoke Posted January 16, 2009 Share Posted January 16, 2009 I would never go back to that age if I could. Never. This woman, she speaks the truth. Possibly even with a capital T. Just keep telling yourself, Ven, there is life after high school. And for folks like us, it's absolutely glorious. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prysm Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 My husband and I have decided not to have children and knew this when we were dating/engaged. When we endured this mandatory premarital counseling for the church, the mentor couple told us this amazing gem of wisdom... The Muslims are winning the war in the bedroom! Yes, indeed, we were told that the religious war for souls can be won through reproduction. I was treated like a terrible, awful feminist *shudder* for wanting a career. Well, my husband got The Big Snip so it's too late now, mwahahahaha! We'll just adopt if we change our minds. There are already more kids than good parents in the world, and I really can't grasp the need to see my genetic material running around society. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brutal Brian Posted January 17, 2009 Share Posted January 17, 2009 Well well well, a kids thread. Noone hates them sonsofbitches more than I do. Screaming and crying @ 2 am while I am trying to sleep (I live in a duplex and my neighbors have their tykes room on the other side of my wall, so I hear him cry), or running around the grocery store (I get at least 10 a day in mine of the spoiled rotten ones who cannot be controlled by their own parents), and to whom brought that up, made me want to type in this thread. I have no desire to have them, you can't swear in front of them without drawing the ire of others around you, and they aren't very fun to babysit. I too also value the freedom I have to sit on my lazy ass all day and not have to do anything, and when I do feel like doing something (going out to movies, concerts, drinking) I can do it. Never mind couple with the fact that my parents and grandparents have indicated an interest in having grandkids and I told em they were SOL. But I guess the real reason I feel compelled to respond here is is that it's nice to know there are others out there who are kid-free. And even if I did want a kid, I couldn't afford it. I can barely pay my bills now, how am I supposed to cover food and clothing for a child on $12,000 a year, working full time in a grocery store? it just wouldn't be worth my time or my effort to add another helping to my already full plate, coupled with the stress I already have from work, depression, and a huge uncertainty that the world is going to be worth growing up in, which is a whole other box of Pandora to deal with. Anyway, that's my two cents. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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