Apathy And Frustration..a Post Holiday Cocktail

[♦ nivek ♦]

PoTH,

 

I'm impressed. Using 5000 words to spread 15 words of content take talent and skillZ.

 

Feel free to summarize and in turn make your point with succinct clarity.

 

If you are unable to find *fault* with your dribblings here, then no amount of working with or around you will help.

 

kFL

[woodsmoke]

Would I be out of line to say "I told you so?" I mean, I'm going to say it anyway, I just want to be sure.

 

Drama queen with the best sob story this side of the limbless eunuch from India who blames others for failing to understand his hysterical rantings? I saw this particular board suicide coming months ago. Though I'll admit the offensives against Kevin and (especially) Pitchu caught me by surprise. Straight outta' fuckin' left field, those. Unsurprising when I stop to think about it, of course, but I didn't expect 'em at the time.

 

At any rate, assuming you're still lurking about and opt to read this post, Head, just know I'm glad to see you leaving and I hope the door hits you in the ass repeatedly and with plenty of force on the way out.

 

Gods, but I love being right.

[pitchu]

youre a crass and arrogant person, ive seen it in EVERY popst i have ever read from you.

 

I popst and popst and popst, yet I have had to wait five years for my popsts to be recognized for the above qualities which I have so assiduously striven to display.

 

Then my admirer leaves me...

 

Friends, please hold encouraging thoughts for poor, deserted pitchu.

[nightflight]

Wow.........

[Amethyst]

I have to agree with Noob. Piracy, what you need is face to face, real life support and serious therapy. The internet is way, way too prone to misunderstandings, even with the usage of emoticons and clip art.

 

I hope you can find the help you need. I really do.

[Antlerman]

I have to agree with Noob. Piracy, what you need is face to face, real life support and serious therapy. The internet is way, way too prone to misunderstandings, even with the usage of emoticons and clip art.

 

I hope you can find the help you need. I really do.

I've only jumped into this at this point. Honestly Piracy, and everyone else... for goodness sake. If we want peace and understanding.. start with yourself! Misunderstandings happen. I take responsibility for my actions in amending wrongs, and avoid with all effort to point the finger at another. Peace begins at home, not with another. You have the power. And its the exercise of that, that others will respond to. For god's sake, let it go... say your sorry for mistakes and SHOW you care to understand another. That's the only way to peace. It's the only way to your own. Understand?

[PIRACYs LADY]

Well!!! Welcome to life! Welcome to the fucking meat grinder. That's probably not what you wanted to hear, but there it is.

 

So... are you gonna quit? If you are, then make it happen. Get it over with. Ashes to ashes and dust to dust.

 

I'm thinking you're not at that stage. So this begs the question: WHAT ARE YOU MADE OF? Are you going to keep trying or not? If not, see the last statement. Get it over with. Get it done. But if you're willing to keep trying, then try with all of your might. I think you can make it. Hell, maybe that's just me, but isn't it worth it to try? To exhaust every effort in attempting to make it? I gotta say that, yes, it is. Look back on your past. Has everything been wine and roses? If it has, then I can well understand why you're feeling like you are. But if it hasn't... then you know that good days follow bad days. Bad days happen even when you're trying your hardest. So today sucks. I know that feeling!!! I promise you that I do! But there's tomorrow... and it could be damn good. In fact, I can tell you that if you hold out long enough, tomorrow IS good. It doesn't seem like it sometimes, but, I'll be damned if it isn't.

 

Hang in there. Do what you gotta do. Stick with it. Tomorrow is a new day. If you're ready to cash in your chips, then get it done. But if there is the slightest bit of doubt about that and there is the inkling that it might get better... well, then I'd have to say that you need to hang in there. It's worth a shot, isn't it? Of course it is!

 

Don't throw in the towel just yet. You don't know what's around the bend.

 

Best of luck to you.

Hi There,

Well first off let me start by saying that my name is Churee and I am Nicks wife. Also let me say that I do not call names (well I try not to sometimes they slip) and I really do try to undestand most people. i am pretty much unaware oh what happened last night betwen Nick and a few people that is why I am reading it myself. I will be honest to him and everyone else in what my opinion is of what I read. Please remember i am very new to this. Please also try to understand me. I am pretty tough with cancer and all but also very emotional so maybe take it alittle easy on me to start with. I'd appricate it.I read Nicks 1st rant. I read where he wrote about cashing his chips in. On that particular matter he made a mistake in explaining correctly. He meant likewhen your a christian and people say God just take me all ready. Nick is to the pont where he would never try to kill himself. We have been down that road before and he does have the strngth to just do it but at this time in our life never would. So thats the 1st thing I saw in his writing. Also I really suck at spelling so Im sorry for that. Now I am on down to reading your response.I did get the point of whatyou said wecome to the meat grinder etc... I think it just hit Nick totally wrong being that thats the only place we have been for 15 years now. just a brief summary in case your not aware. I have had cancer 4 times, I have it now. We have had 3 of our children die. One had to be cleaned up off the pavement. No one in his family will help him get the medication he needs for his bone spurs and compresed dics. I have brittle bone disease and curently have a broken knee and 2 broken vertebrea. Thats really just the short of it. I dont want to whine to you. Im just trying to understand. I hope you can tell that. I will say I havent ever heard someone telling another person to pretty much hurry up and kill themselves if thats how there feeling. But maybe thats a tacktet that has worked for helping other people before?If so please in allhonesty let me know I work with alot of people who come tome with the thought of killing themselves in mind.I do get the point of asking the what are you made of. It makes the person take the time to actually think what they really are made of.Are they really strong etc.You did say you thought he could make it and that leads me to believe you were trying to help Nick.The wine and roses comment probably hurt him a tad because as from my brief summary you can see it has notben at all that way. Sometimes his hurt can become anger at the world. You said that today had sucked and that yo knew that feeling. I wantd you to know that I am sorry that your day was a bad one also. I know most peoples are but i really do not believe anyone deserves it. So whatever happened to make your day bad, im sorry and I hope today was better. I do very much see your intent to try to help Nick in your reply. I just think a few things were taken wrong is all. He thought you were saying his life had been wine and rosses when it had been exactly a year since our son died in my arms. He thought even though he made a mistake in his writing and did not want to kill himself why would someone say just cash it in and hurry up. those are the only two things. I would like to talk to you some more. Nick does not know I am reading this, And to be honest I doubt he will ever get back on the site again except to talk to floraduh maybe. But I hate leaving things the way they were left. I hope you could find it in your heart to maybe talk to me for a few minutes to clear this up. As for your 1st post I see you trying to helpNick with only the 2 questions I relayed to you. Mind you As his wife theres a strong urge to say some not nice things, but I am not like that and as I told you from the begining I would look for the truth. Thank you for listening to me. I hope to hear from you.

Churee(On to the next reply) (not sure if thats you too or someone else)

[PIRACYs LADY]

There's something to be said about cashing in your chips and starting over. I've done it once, and am doing it again. The last time, I came out ahead. This time, I expect the same. Of course, I won the last time I cashed them in and started over, so that gives me a little more cushion this time. Nevertheless, I say, take the chance. Why not? You only live once; what's the worst that can happen? Nobody who has made it big got there by not taking chances. I'm not talking about lottery chances; I'm talking about calculated chances. Invest in yourself before you lay it all down on a horse in a horse race.

 

At the end of the day, you have to look within yourself. The answer is in there. You won't find it by praying, nor will you find it on an internet message board such as this. I recommend a long walk. Smoke some tobacco if you feel like it during your walk, or consume a little alcohol. Perhaps both if you feel like it. Sometimes we need a little bit of a chemical kickstart to get our juices flowing. Just don't come to rely on it. Think of it as a jumpstart; you will need to break free once you discover what it is you need to do and run from your own steam. It's easier than you think. You just need to get your head in the right place in your life.

Hi There,

 

First off let me intoduce myself I am Churee, Piracys wife. I came on this thread because he was so upset but some people, he didnt even say who that I had to comeon and see for myself. He does not know I am on here as I told the other gentleman and I doubt he will come backon the site he feels like someone stabbed him in the back. I havnt got to where that is yet so I am goingone by one. I read your reply and find absolultly nothing wrong with it. I think you had good advice for someone in the mood he was in and you understood him. And to be honest, from the way you described it if I had a pipe Id smoke it and ake a walk.lol. Thanks for your advice.

Churee

[PIRACYs LADY]

OHHHHH....People that dont know my situation...IM not going to kill myself....the chips get cashed in when I succumb to the illnesses and pain I already have.

 

 

 

Maybe you will want to edit your posts before I read the whole things...cuz thats not whats goin on here, Im not talking about suicide. Its not necessary.....Ive thought about it before, never been able to bring myself to it, its not gonna happen...

 

so Im not like this weak person, you got it wrong......I dont have to do anything for the chips to get cashed, they will get cashed if things dont turn around.

 

Plus, I dont think you understand apathy, the taunting and the ultimatims dont have much effect on an apathetic person...I know you probably meant well but I honestly stopped reading both the above posts when I realized both people thought I was talking about committing suicide.....

 

I cant believe I am going to have to Repost a rant....it has nothing to do with suicide..it is all about how I want to stop feelign apathetic and get through the frustration that I am feeling....hopefully I wont have to repost...hopefully explaining it right here will do whats necessary.

Honey, These 1st 2 people where just trying to help. I didnt understand 2 of the things the first guy said to you that might have made you made but I askedhim and Im sure he will reply. It was a miscommunication , one that you accidently wrote. I would have though you meant killing yourself. But give the guy a chance see what his answers are. You were all eady so upset with everything happening, the time of year, the loss of our babies. I know you like to rant sometimes. And maybe thats what this area is gor. But it doesnt hurt to repost it if people misunderstood. I love you very much

[PIRACYs LADY]

I'm leaving a marriage of 21 years, dude. I know full well everything there is to know of apathy.

 

You reached out. I merely responded.

I wantd to say that I am very sorry that your marriage is ending after 21 years. That must be a terrible ordeal for you and your family. I'm going to be perfectly honest as i said i would i have a masters degree and i do not know what apathy is. Yes, i guess a rant would be considered reaching out. And you did try to help in your own way I believe. I see nothing wrong with this post. Aain I am sorry for what your going through.

[PIRACYs LADY]

Look back on your past. Has everything been wine and roses? If it has, then I can well understand why you're feeling like you are. But if it hasn't... then you know that good days follow bad days.

 

lol...Spider...you need to spend some time looking through my posts, start with the earliest ones....they will give you a pretty good glimpse into my life

 

wine and roses??

 

MUHUHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Its not a suicide threat.

 

Im not looking for an easy life, Im looking for a life that makes sense and has a little bit of rhyme and reason...... my rant is about how things are getting so confusing and nothing is making sense...and no matter how hard one tries, if they are deep down in a certain amount of problems they cant get out on their own...

 

Thats all the post is;

 

Feeling apathy because nothing is working out.....talking about years here, but the past couple months are upsetting because of the deconversion.

 

Frustration because this isnt dreambook land where all my good intentions float together into a granted wish, I need some breaks for all the hard work and some people in my life to step up, I need help with substance, not just advice and everybody is backing out....not one single person is around anymore because they dont want to make any sacrifices and they feel guilty because they know they are living a pretty damned good life and are all comfortable.

 

I feel some anger at the people in my life who give advice but dont chip in....

 

I think its all that Xtian fundy stuff stuck in their head......faith without works. When somebody needs to buy medicine for their pain, they dont need advice, they need a loan or god forbid, a gift.....im frustrated with my family and some people that called themselves friends who go on and on about how to "manifest" in my life...its just a big fat word for saying "Im not gonna help you, you just dream a little dream and it will all come true....heres how!!!", its a load of crap, just tell me you dont want to or cant help, dont put this fairy tale crap in my lap and make me feel even worse when it doesnt "manifest".....

 

Bottom line, people used to help people, thats how they got out of their mess. They didnt give them bullshit recipes for getting whatever they want out of the universe thereby absolving themselves of any human responsibility and placing all the blame on the person who cant "manifest"....its a cop out.

 

Im just frustrated and I dont see what to do.....I dont know which step to take next and I am trying to vent

Honey,

I understand this one completly. I know how much your so called family has hurt you.really messed your heart and mind up. And I know you hav every right in that situation to be confussed and be so angry with them.Heck I want to beat the shit(i slipped) out of them. I love you. It will get better.

[PIRACYs LADY]

Look back on your past. Has everything been wine and roses? If it has, then I can well understand why you're feeling like you are. But if it hasn't... then you know that good days follow bad days.

 

lol...Spider...you need to spend some time looking through my posts, start with the earliest ones....they will give you a pretty good glimpse into my life

 

wine and roses??

 

MUHUHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

Well, I guess it didn't take it as such. I only offered encouragement. So, fuck off. If you're going to mock someone who is trying to encourage you, then I give less than a shit. I know nothing of you and you know nothing of me. I was trying to encourage you. If that's laughable to you, then fuck off. Maybe you shouldn't expose yourself if you don't want people to feel with you.

Hi Again, I can tell you in all honesty Nick was not ttrying to mock you in anyway. He was reaching out for you to understand him.He was reaching out for someone to take the time to know him. That is all he wantd. Yes you offered encouragement. The F*** off part well that was harsh but maybe you were feeling taken advantage of Im not sure. Im really just trying to helpand make everyone feel better.You were coreect in the part where you said he knew nothing of you and you knew nothing of him. He wanted to know you and for you to know him. I can tell you as wll as many others can tell you from this site that Nick is a good person, he would have tried to hlp you pr give you any advice that he could have. I can even honestly say hed give you his last dollar if i let him. In all honesty he wantd a friend, someone to take time to know him. thats the truth. It was not laughable to him. That was honstly another miscommunication. Actually its apersonal jole between him and I , But it in no way is mocking you, and he is not laughing at you. I can promise you this.Again the F*** off alittle harsh but im thinking your pretty pissed off at this point. Your last sentence is true and correct. This one was also alot of miscommunication.

[PIRACYs LADY]

"...but I feel like cashing in the chips, I have to be honest...you can only fight everything so long, its so damned tiring, I need a vacation, you have to receive strength you cant just expend it 24/7, it has to come back somehow, i've been running on fumes for so long, just waiting for a break but it never comes.....maybe apathy is a gift,I will just accept the way things are and the end will come."

 

Maybe this wording misled some of us. Most of us do know the story of you and Churee and are frustrated along with you. Forgive us our misunderstanding from time to time, we do mean well.

Hi there Florduh,

 

How are you? What a big mes this turnd into.I agree totally that the wording was misleading, heck so does Nick. He tried his bst to corrct it,.It ets him so angry when he cant get people to understand what he means. You know him eactly. You have for awhile.Thank you for your hlp. You are always a pleasure for me to talk to. Nick said to tell you if i talked to you that he still felt bad about saying something like just dont write anything geezer or something. He said he told you he was sorry but that he wanted you to know he still felt bad. He said after he posted it it really sounded rude and thats not what he meant. He said you call yourself a gezer. How old can you possibly be 45? Thanks for your help. Hope to talk to you soon.

Churee

[PIRACYs LADY]

I'm leaving a marriage of 21 years, dude. I know full well everything there is to know of apathy.

 

You reached out. I merely responded.

 

Thats not the only thing I said......I said if you dont know my situation then read a bit about it.

 

You responded, and Im merely explaining to you that your advice doesnt contain the proper info because you dont know what my situation is, I was ranting here where everybody knows whats going on, so I didnt go into little details about everything, almost every single person here knows already.

 

youre getting a divorce??

 

Read my original posts....youll be thankful thats all that is happening to you...me and my lady just lost 3 kids, and shes got cancer for the 4th time

 

I wish those were the only problems...seriously, read the posts or you wont know what youre saying.

Hi There,

I wantd to tell you that that last one he wrote was wrong. Leaving a marraige of 21 years would be terribly dificult and again Im sorry for your troubles. Nick was honst in what he said we were going through and what we had lost but it should have ben worded differently and i dont think he meant for it to come out at all that way. Your tragdy is no less then our own and again i am sorry.

CHuree

[PIRACYs LADY]

You're a prick.

 

A repulsive prick at that. I'm sorry I wasted my time pouring out any emotion and feeling on you at all.

Hey There Again,

Here I have to stick up for my husband as Im sure you would do if put in the same position. He is not a prick. Nor is he repulsive at all. He is a human being that has feelings just like you and was hurting, thats all. He was just hurting.I know people dont usually say go back and read a post and you will see what I maean. But I would really appricate you reading my posts not Nicks. And just one. I think it will show you here he was coming from and then you might understand. Just as I undrstand and would like to hlp you in your situation anyway I can.I am very nw at this so as soon as i figure out what I titledd it i willtell you and I would so much appricate a few minutes of your reading time.

Churee

[PIRACYs LADY]

You're a prick.

 

A repulsive prick at that. I'm sorry I wasted my time pouring out any emotion and feeling on you at all.

 

Whats wrong with you?

 

You poured out condascension and then expletives on me....

 

This is ridiculous.

Honey this post was good. You admitd what you did wrong and tried to help him understand what you meant. I really think it was a misunderstanding and I think tempers were just to flared to calm down at this point. I hope they are not like that now.

Love ,me

[PIRACYs LADY]

"...but I feel like cashing in the chips, I have to be honest...you can only fight everything so long, its so damned tiring, I need a vacation, you have to receive strength you cant just expend it 24/7, it has to come back somehow, i've been running on fumes for so long, just waiting for a break but it never comes.....maybe apathy is a gift,I will just accept the way things are and the end will come."

 

Maybe this wording misled some of us. Most of us do know the story of you and Churee and are frustrated along with you. Forgive us our misunderstanding from time to time, we do mean well.

 

I didnt know it had misled anybody until this other guys post.

 

Thanks Florduh, its good to know youre all out there pulling for us.

 

The past couple days just REALLY sucked, I havent felt so down in a while, it hit me liek a ton of bricks and I felt like everything was so futile, I felt helpless..I still do.

Thank again Florduh,

 

And you were right in what you write him privatly some of it was about me. They put me on some new medication and it had some major bad effects. He thought I was goona die.

Churee

[PIRACYs LADY]

You're a prick.

 

A repulsive prick at that. I'm sorry I wasted my time pouring out any emotion and feeling on you at all.

And another one bites the dust.

 

'Course, you didn't actually manage to land yourself on PotH's iggy list like Asimov, Vigile and myself did (one of my proudest moments here at ExC) -- or if you did, he didn't say anything about it, which seems unlikely given his drama queen nature. Still, it's a start. Try some dead baby jokes, he really likes those.

 

Welcome to the club, park your bike out front. Beer's in the fridge, hookers and blow at 8.

Hello,

 

Just a short introduction im nicks wife. I dont even understand what you mean in the 1st part of your post. But I have herd of you. Nothing good really. But I thought maybe that was wrong and that Id give you a chance,talk to you see how you really are.But then I read the try some daed baby jokes....You know its really not so funny when you have held your child as hes dying in your arms. or cleaning another one off the pavement. That was wrong and I am not a mean person but why would you say something like that to someone who has lost children? You cant be a father and have said that. If so I wonder what your kids would think heasring that come from daddy.I dont even mind your hookers joke etc. if thats all you can come up with ok, Just curious what would make someon say that?Glad I recieved your post and not nicK. Please though I was serious about trying to be nice and fair and honest so please take the time and answer me.

[PIRACYs LADY]

PiracyofTheHead.

 

Let me put you on my "ExC, I don't care where you washed in from, but I would prefer that the tides take you back to sea" list.

 

You've managed to piss me off with your howler monkey-isms, tossing feces electronically at folks who bother to answer your odd disjointed unusual posts.

 

I don't care if you come or go, but is my preference you find a spot on this huge InTARWeBb where folks with the multitudes of problems like yours can toss their bodily waste products through the cages at each other.

 

You've got a serious lack of stability that shines through whenever anyone DARES "speak" to you in less than gentle soothing whispers. When you SHOUT back and raise hell and are replied to in kind, you cry foul..

 

I'm calling a huge cup of "Fuck That Shit". Grab a big ole frosty mug of hot Shut The Fuck Up until you can act like somewhat of an adult.

 

"Encouraging Ex-Christians" does not require the Staff and Management of ExC "glad hand" you.

 

<self fucking edited for some REALLY rough content. Learned from the Old Man, E-8, CPO>

 

 

kevinfuckin'L, FenceRiderForTheBoss(ret)

Hi There,

Let me start off by introducing myself as Piracys wife. I came on this thread to try o read through and understand just what it was happened last night. I belive in honesty abd being fair I would ask the same of you. And I would also please ask that you speak to me in a gentlemanly ,manner. I wouldnever speak un ladylike to you. In your opinion Nick might have odd,disjointed,unusual posts. But people do read them and he dos get more replies then i can count. And yes he might rant and rave sometimes, who wouldent with what we have been through but most of his responses to people are trying to help them.I m sorry that having a multitude of problems hs offendd you in anyway. I really dident know a person could help that. You know I thought having cancer over and over again having your children die, having epilepsy and brittle bone disease just happened to some people. I didnt think anyone would ever choose it.As for lack of stability you got it for sure. I told you I would be honest and from the heart. Of course he does. How could he not with everything i just listed. If Nick is shouting and then crying foull when others reply in kind that is of course wrong. I just havnt seen that. But I would take a look at it. If you could tell me the name of the posts.I wont comment on the cussing, as I said I will never act as less than a lady to you or anyone else.If Im not mistaken I think Nick told me you were the one that used to be a moderator and then stepped down because things were not going well and it wasent looking good. Sorry if im wrong. He mentioned it was because of dialasis. I wantd to tell you that I am sorry you are going through this terrible time. I would help you if there was any way I could. I was in renal failue for 2 years and also on a p.i.c. line on dialisis for over 2 years. It got so bd that they couldnot get the fluid out fast enough and my skin would actuallu weep. I just wanted you to know that I am sorry for what you are going throgh and I hope things get better. Nick was hoping the same before all this. But I know him he doesent hold grudges and will be wishing the same for you again. Please respond to m. I would like to understand.

Churee

[PIRACYs LADY]

PiracyofTheHead.

 

Let me put you on my "ExC, I don't care where you washed in from, but I would prefer that the tides take you back to sea" list.

 

You've managed to piss me off with your howler monkey-isms, tossing feces electronically at folks who bother to answer your odd disjointed unusual posts.

 

I don't care if you come or go, but is my preference you find a spot on this huge InTARWeBb where folks with the multitudes of problems like yours can toss their bodily waste products through the cages at each other.

 

You've got a serious lack of stability that shines through whenever anyone DARES "speak" to you in less than gentle soothing whispers. When you SHOUT back and raise hell and are replied to in kind, you cry foul..

 

I'm calling a huge cup of "Fuck That Shit". Grab a big ole frosty mug of hot Shut The Fuck Up until you can act like somewhat of an adult.

 

"Encouraging Ex-Christians" does not require the Staff and Management of ExC "glad hand" you.

 

<self fucking edited for some REALLY rough content. Learned from the Old Man, E-8, CPO>

 

 

kevinfuckin'L, FenceRiderForTheBoss(ret)

 

 

Nivek, this display...because thats what it is....is a sad testimony to a site where freethought is accepted, where disagreement is encouraged and where its ok to be yourself.

 

If you think its ok to egg somebody on to suicide and then downplay their problems is acceptable and right, then thats your opinion.

 

But when I respond back with a bitter taste in my mouth because I disagree, dont point fingers, because all you are doing is disagreeing with my disagreement. Its hypocrisy at its finest.

 

I have on numerous occasions made apology when i have acted out of place, or offended anyone. I have made peace in many occasions, I have been open and honest with my faults, I dont think I have seen the same from you, and i dont expect it, thats why I stayed away from your area of the ExC site.

 

Despite your numerous Ad-homs and your backanded ad-homs, I WILL be the mature one here.

 

you got pissed (your feelings) and then proceeded to write me off and curse me (throwing feces), you acted like the child, you acted like the immature one, you should have PMed me with some advice or some opinions or whatever, but you chose to publicly flog me and write off my entire deconversion, that was way out of hand, absolutely uncalled for.

 

i confronted you in the shoutbox, you really had nothing to say other than flippant remarks....you dont need to like me Nivek...but try to keep your cool and not do this again, this was beyond anything ive ever seen here..and Ive seen a lot. I have seen many people go out of their way to be jerks to the members here, I do not do that, I simply refuse to back down sometimes and I refuse to kiss ass to the ones who come around and tell me what I should and shouldnt think.

 

It really angers you when you cant get someone to agree with your disagreement on them doesnt it??

 

Im sorry you cant handle a dissenting opinion, Im sorry it makes you flip out and write in huge letters, cursing at me, trying to humiliate me with your words.

 

This whole thread has made me sick......I was in a bad state of mind when i wrote it, really upset....I made that clear,its a rant.

 

You've taken a person at their lowest moment and kicked them while down, I hope you feel big, bad and tough.

 

Quite a few people have been commenting on your behavior around here as well...it doesnt go unnoticed....you have as many issues as I do I think..you mask them well, I am more open about them, but you're not right, something is off, I hope it gets beter, the same as I hope mine get better.

 

I dont wish any ill on you.....I hope we all end up better, happier, more adjusted people...I thought thats what we were here for.

 

i wonder though, have you added or detracted from 'goodness' here....did you set an example of being a leader or did you fall and show some evil true colors, would you like somebody doing to you what you did here?? If you were in dire straights and had nowhere to turn to, and you got this when you cried out???

 

I sure hope you dont answer with your usual flippant attitude, I think this situation deserves a litle better than your usual.

 

then again...maybe upon reflection I will realise you are right, perhaps I should just float out with the tide...apparently Ive brought nothing good here,which is what you state, if that is so then I will do exactly that...pack up and move one, I dont want to be what you claimed I am, if you're correct, then I will go.

 

ich ben ein auschlander

Honey, This one was well written and most of it I agree with it.

[PIRACYs LADY]

PiracyofTheHead.

 

Let me put you on my "ExC, I don't care where you washed in from, but I would prefer that the tides take you back to sea" list.

 

You've managed to piss me off with your howler monkey-isms, tossing feces electronically at folks who bother to answer your odd disjointed unusual posts.

 

I don't care if you come or go, but is my preference you find a spot on this huge InTARWeBb where folks with the multitudes of problems like yours can toss their bodily waste products through the cages at each other.

 

You've got a serious lack of stability that shines through whenever anyone DARES "speak" to you in less than gentle soothing whispers. When you SHOUT back and raise hell and are replied to in kind, you cry foul..

 

I'm calling a huge cup of "Fuck That Shit". Grab a big ole frosty mug of hot Shut The Fuck Up until you can act like somewhat of an adult.

 

"Encouraging Ex-Christians" does not require the Staff and Management of ExC "glad hand" you.

 

<self fucking edited for some REALLY rough content. Learned from the Old Man, E-8, CPO>

 

 

kevinfuckin'L, FenceRiderForTheBoss(ret)

It is Churee again,

Please forgive me. As I said I am really new at this and I had read down to where nick had replied to you and i must tell you in allhonesty he got at leat 11 private messeges reguarding how badly you were behaving. I do not know all of what happened that is why I am asking. I realy do believe in the 2 sides things, so please help me out.

Churee

[PIRACYs LADY]

This is the basic gist of what happened..this is the bulk of what is being responded to..i thin it fairly represents what happened...anyone can look at the entire thread and see all of it som i am not trying to edit out anything or change the way it is.....I believe this is a good linear view of what happened.

 

 

PIRACY: Plus, I dont think you understand apathy, the taunting and the ultimatims dont have much effect on an apathetic person...I know you probably meant well but I honestly stopped reading both the above posts when I realized both people thought I was talking about committing suicide.....

 

SPIDERWIRE: I'm leaving a marriage of 21 years, dude. I know full well everything there is to know of apathy.

 

SPIDERWIRE: You reached out. I merely responded.

 

PIRACY: lol...Spider...you need to spend some time looking through my posts, start with the earliest ones....they will give you a pretty good glimpse into my life

 

wine and roses??

 

MUHUHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Its not a suicide threat.

 

SPIDERWIRE: Well, I guess it didn't take it as such. I only offered encouragement. So, fuck off. If you're going to mock someone who is trying to encourage you, then I give less than a shit. I know nothing of you and you know nothing of me. I was trying to encourage you. If that's laughable to you, then fuck off. Maybe you shouldn't expose yourself if you don't want people to feel with you.

 

 

PIRACY: You responded, and Im merely explaining to you that your advice doesnt contain the proper info because you dont know what my situation is, I was ranting here where everybody knows whats going on, so I didnt go into little details about everything, almost every single person here knows already.

 

youre getting a divorce??

 

Read my original posts....youll be thankful thats all that is happening to you...me and my lady just lost 3 kids, and shes got cancer for the 4th time

 

I wish those were the only problems...seriously, read the posts or you wont know what youre saying.

 

SPIDERWIRE: You're a prick.

 

A repulsive prick at that. I'm sorry I wasted my time pouring out any emotion and feeling on you at all.

 

PIRACY: WTF?? Spiderwire.....I was not laughing at you...I was laughing at me....the wine and roses...I was laughing at me, I wish it had been wine and roses. Laughing at the enormity of my situation.

 

I dont know why you freaked out telling me to fuck off over it.

 

In the previous post you had told me to kill myself and get it over with if thats what was in my mind.

 

............................................... Florduh pointed out how I had worded it wrong....and assured me my friends were here with me, feeling for me, that is appreciated.

 

I dont know what happened with our communications...something got mixed up. Im not about to argue about it....I felt bad enough in the first place.

 

Dont you think it was simple misunderstanding???

 

Well I am not holding any grudges or going to be upsetabout this so, for what its worth, I apologize for any misunderstanding.....I do need to remind you, Im not in the best frame of mind, thus the OP....

 

__________________________________________

 

WOW...what a god damned crime I committed here....A bunch of misunderstanding then my apologies, my attempts at a truce, my attempts at peace...I SEE NONE OF THAT COMING MY WAY.

 

And this is what Nivek freaked out about????????????????????????

From Churee,

Again as I said exactly a bunch of misunderstandings between pople that really are good people but I only see Nick sayind sorry for them. So far I think every genuinley has a good heart. I will reserve my judgement for woodsmoke after the question I asked him. But I hope he is in that same boat as well

[♦ nivek ♦]

Churee...

 

I train dogs. Biggun's, littleun's, inbetweenun's. Size different, some temperament differences, most dogs same.

 

When one gets a dog that rages, bites, snarls and acts unsociable and untrainable this hour, then next hour cowers and is fearful, one wonders "Who or what messed this dog up?"

 

"Fear biter" is the one who continually reaches out to take snaps and bites out of anyone who happens to be in their reach. Fear biters take no caution about what and who they bite or maul, they just do so.

 

Understanding the mind of that animal is first step to its cure.

Healing the fear biter requires that the dog eventually resists the desire to snap at everything in its reach.

 

If the fear biter can't be "fixed", it is cast out of the pack, or killed in a humane manner.

 

Your guy is the human analog of the Fear Biter. He snaps, bites and attempts to strain his leash to chew on anything and anyone that he can sink his teeth into.

 

THEN he *apologizes* and tries to make things "right", until he snaps at someone else again.

 

It is my desire the he finds something to help his plethora of conditions along in a healthy manner.

Gonna be up to him to take on finding help and medications as needed.

 

Hope in Real_Life he chooses not to snap at people there. Results will be a bit more *touching* than being red lettered by a mean_old_man on a netboard.

 

kFL

[PIRACYs LADY]

NIVEK's OWN WORDS IN THE SHOUTBOX TO ME WAS THAT HE GOT MAD WHEN I RIPPED INTO SPIDERWIRE...MAY I PLEASE BE SHOWN A QUOTE WHERE I RIPPED INTO SPIDERWIRE

 

I am not the best at communicating..I know that, I dont say things how I mean them often..but NIVEK's COMPLAINT WAS THAT[u] I RIPPED INTO SPIDERWIRE...[/u]

 

I have gone over the thread 3 times I DO NOT SEE THIS ANYWHERE...its in NIVEK's head

 

 

Piracy, I don’t know where to begin. And quite frankly, I’m not even sure I should try! I cannot read through this post again because I have a huge aversion to conflict and the whole thing stresses me out. However, I did read through it as it was evolving and I just want to give you my take on it, for whatever it’s worth. I hope I don’t offend you or anyone else involved in this thread.

 

I think your expectations of what you can get here are way too high. I have read many of your posts and Churee’s posts, and it is obvious that you guys are dealing with extreme financial, physical, emotional, and spiritual issues. I sincerely believe that you need a face to face support group. I just don’t think you can get your needs met on the internet for several reasons.

 

First, as you have experienced there is just way too much room for misunderstanding. It is too easy to misunderstand a tone or a comment and this can lead to way too much hurt and anger.

 

Next, there are a lot of people here who have difficult situations and who are in great pain. They probably sympathize with you, but they have needs as well so they cannot reach out and give you exactly what you are looking for. Please don’t take offence at this but I noticed right away in this thread that Spiderwire is hurting because his marriage of 21 years is ending. Having been there at one time myself, I know that is a horrible place to be. Yet, when I read your response to him, it came across as… oh, too bad – but be glad that’s your only problem, I have it way worse. While your problems are extreme, please realize that Spiderwire’s situation is probably very painful to him. I can see why he probably felt dismissed by your response.Even beyond this thread, you ask for a lot of support and I think that you often get encouragement and understanding. However, at times I have found myself unable to respond, because I just don’t have anything to offer. I get a sense that you are looking for someone to step up and help pull you and Churee through these awful times. But please understand that many of us are struggling with the loss of our jobs, our homes, and through our deconversion perhaps even our families.

 

I would love to log in one day and read that you and Churee have found some relief from all of the pain. And I wish for good things for you with all of my heart. Is it possible for you to take the good from the site, and accept that there are limits to what you can realistically expect from others?

Hi There Noob,

It's Churee. How are you? What a big mess. I am trying to figure it out. Nick feels like he was stabbed in the back by some people. in honesty i see that with maybe 2. But I also see where Nick mad mistakes. But I also see that Nick Is the only one saying sorry for the misunderstandings.I hate this kind of thing.Believe me I know what you mean by the aversion to conflict and how it stresses you out. That is how I feel.And just so you know I dont think the way you speak could offend anyone really.I eally do agree with you about the exspctations being to high. You know our story. Our only dilema is with the illnssess being so severe i cant get out so we are very limited. I wish we had that option. But for now were very limited. As you can tell from what I have written that is exactly what it is is misunderstandind and that turns to hurts and pain. At least thats what I see so far.I also noticed Spiderwears ordeal that he was going through and told him I was deeply sorry and that I wished I could help. i really do try to help everyone I can.Oh and I am sure that many of you here finanically are suffering with the same problems we are having. Nicks strongest worry is just not having enough money for my medication. Because without it I die.I thank you for your wishes for the good things you said.I am trying to take some good from here. I believe nick was trying to also. I think it was just that it had been a year since our son died and he as just completly down in the dumps.Thanks for your reply

Churee

[Vigile]

Would I be out of line to say "I told you so?" I mean, I'm going to say it anyway, I just want to be sure.

 

Drama queen with the best sob story this side of the limbless eunuch from India who blames others for failing to understand his hysterical rantings? I saw this particular board suicide coming months ago. Though I'll admit the offensives against Kevin and (especially) Pitchu caught me by surprise. Straight outta' fuckin' left field, those. Unsurprising when I stop to think about it, of course, but I didn't expect 'em at the time.

 

At any rate, assuming you're still lurking about and opt to read this post, Head, just know I'm glad to see you leaving and I hope the door hits you in the ass repeatedly and with plenty of force on the way out.

 

Gods, but I love being right.

 

I do feel a bit bad for the guy. Having to live inside that mixed up head of his and all. The drama I can live without.

 

Gettin' on Kev's bad side was probably a given, but Pitchu too? That took some doing.