Crazycatlady Posted May 2, 2008 Share Posted May 2, 2008 you guys are great, I'm so glad I asked you before doing anything rash. I will talk to both my parents and in-laws, but I will wait a couple of days until I know how to formulate myself. This is good and character building, I'm not a fan of confrontations I think this sounds like a very good idea. I can tell by your very tone that you are much calmer now. I also dislike confrontations. I find that imagining and preping the dialog beforehand is quite helpful. I personally would talk to the inlaws first since it sounds like they are much more open to the topic. Asking them how they want to proceed, if there is anything specific they would like to you to convey to your parents, etc. might be helpful. Also, you might be able to feel like you have their backing and support when talking to your parents. Good luck, Emme. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crackalackish Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I am glad you are going to say something. I would be afraid that she would bring it up in person. After your inlaws had so much trouble inviting them, I would hate to have it ruined by my mom's evangalizing. Make sure you say something about them not bringing up religion during the visit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mahjong Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 I don't have enough time to read all the responses. I have skimmed, though. I thing that if you were to explain to the in-laws where the parents are coming from (born again and all that), you wouldn't have to feel ashamed. After all, you are not the one sending this stuff. You can't controll your parents, and you don't really want to degrade them. I think most people are willing to hear where people might be coming from. If your parents were direct, they would at least seem credible. (What I really don't like about Christianity in America is the willingness to manipulate and skirt. Why not just attempt to win someone to Christ by telling the other party what the agenda is. Direct honesty. Not all the beating around the bush crap!) I feel for you. Ick! MJ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Not at all surprising. I've seen behavior like this in x-tians all the time. My mom used to drive my sister's ex-husband nuts with jesus shit, so much that he didn't want them visiting. And as I've mentioned before, my catholic 'friend' finds ways to send me catholic bullshit whenever she can. Lately we've been getting into the 'you're still a catholic, you've been baptized' argument again. If it gets worse, I will have to shut her out again. But, the reality is that x-tians are rude, arrogant and brass balled about pushing their beliefs in your face. You have some great answers, and do try to stay calm, when confronting. It' a very uncomforatble situation but if you don't do anything, it will continue and may get worse. Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted May 5, 2008 Share Posted May 5, 2008 Be thankful it is just newspapers.....My aunt had my son (a couple months old at the time) blessed by a priest without asking me or his mother. She asked to hold my son, and walked off to the priest who was nearby (we were at our annual family Easter luncheon and most of my relatives are Catholic). Before me or his mom could react....POOF my son was blessed in the name of the father, son and holy ghost. That put my aunt on our shit list for the rest of her life. If there is an afterlife, she has learned over and over how much pain she brought to me and my son's mom that day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest eejay Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Be thankful it is just newspapers.....My aunt had my son (a couple months old at the time) blessed by a priest without asking me or his mother. She asked to hold my son, and walked off to the priest who was nearby (we were at our annual family Easter luncheon and most of my relatives are Catholic). Before me or his mom could react....POOF my son was blessed in the name of the father, son and holy ghost. That put my aunt on our shit list for the rest of her life. If there is an afterlife, she has learned over and over how much pain she brought to me and my son's mom that day. That would piss me off to no end. But I know people who would do the same. I don't know how I would have handled it, but I'm sure there would have been some fireworks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thurisaz Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 (What I really don't like about Christianity in America is the willingness to manipulate and skirt. Why not just attempt to win someone to Christ by telling the other party what the agenda is. Direct honesty. Not all the beating around the bush crap!) They know they don't stand a chance if they tell the truth. Deep down inside they know that they themselves won't buy it anymore if they let the truth come to the surface of their self-imprisoned minds. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Realist Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 Emme, I too came from a similar situation. My parents were the "born agains" and my wife and her parents were the "heathens". We had similar situations arise before we married - of course my parents were very kean to convert both my future wife and her parents. These situations were at times embarassing for me also! I have not read all the responses but this is my take on it. I would only bother talking to your boyfriend and his mother on the issue and just explain the situation in regard with your parents. (Do not forget your parents are brain washed so a waste of time talking to them!) His parents obviously must have known to start with that yours were deeply religious and no doubt will know your position on this. After all it is YOU that your boyfriend and future inlaws love and respect- so they will have no trouble at all for seeing it exactly in the light it should be seen in! My parents even sent similar religious material years after we were married - naturally it all just got recycled straight to the trash can! After we married I can assure you too my inlaws actually showed me FAR more respect and love for who I was as a person than I ever encountered in my "born again" birth family! Good luck to you both! Doug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robbobrob Posted May 6, 2008 Share Posted May 6, 2008 After we married I can assure you too my inlaws actually showed me FAR more respect and love for who I was as a person than I ever encountered in my "born again" birth family! They must wonder how someone like you came from people like them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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