Who Is Your Most Hated Famous Fundie?

[R. S. Martin]

Susanna Bauman and Salome Martin. These are the women in awe of whom men ruled my life with an iron fist. In a community where nothing is ever stated clearly, and truth is hidden like stolen treasure, it is impossible to know for sure. However, I have every reason to think that Salome's husband got heck when he came home and told her that he gave permission for me to eat with my sibs at our mother's funeral.

 

Why do I think this? Because she told me at the funeral how glad she was to see me and I expressed appreciation to her for the permission to eat with my family; she would know to pass this on to her husband. I knew that, according to tradition, her husband would not have kept such a major decision from his wife; he would have told her. The entire community seemed to know about it. She did not respond.

 

That she did not respond was ominous. I knew she had heard.

 

That she did not respond to my expression of appreciation could mean only one thing: She did not agree with his decision.

 

This woman and I had been best friends at one time.

 

She got married; I didn't. That automatically put her a notch above me on the social ladder. Her man was a popular school teacher at the time they married. Then he got ordained into the ministry by nomination and lot. Anyone who knows how highly the ordained ministry are esteemed in our community knows what that did to a person who was already popular and looked-up-to. The appropriately meek and submissive wife of such a man has unlimited power. She can act anonymously. To the public face she is the sweet-tempered meek and submissive godly woman to whom all the women look for counsel. The more unworthy she acts the more power she begets. Even the old women will trust her words of wisdom. And of course every woman who knows her place knows exactly how to manouver to get her husband to do her own bidding and get all her grown sons and sons-in-law to do her bidding, too. By that time you've got women ruling supreme.

 

However, they are wise enough to hide behind their men just in the nick of time so that never will two wise women appear to clash. Yet the ordained men are forever pleading for the laymembership to "Pray for peace in the ministry."

 

Susanna's husband died after I left the church. Esther's husband took his place. Salome's husband was involved with my mother's funeral. I've heard that Esther's husband is a merciless tyrant. He's in his sixties now. I knew him when he was in his early 20s, and he was a pliable and tender-hearted young minister then. I spent time in their home when their children were little. Esther is another sweet and submissive godly woman. Has Susanna lost her power or is she ruling the church via silent conferences with these other women? I will never know.

 

These are people you will never see on tv or read about in the news. Their work on the grassroots level is so intense that it controls thousands far beyond all reasonable expectations. Were people like this not at work with their schemes on a daily, hourly basis, the Big Names would not have any power. I am still seeking the connection between these grassroots leaders and the Big Names. I'm sure there is one but I haven't pinned it down yet.

 

Thus, while I should probably be hating one or the other of the Big Names, I never knew any of them well enough to hate them. Maybe when I find out which one of them had a direct line to Susanna Bauman et al I'll know whom to hate.

[Guest laceknitter]

All of the sick, sick people who write books on how to Biblically beat your children (Pearl, Lessin, Whelchel, Dobson, Tripp, Fugate, blah blah blah, the list goes on forever...).

[Evelyn]

I agree with Apostate, I can't stand Michael Savage. My hubby used to listen to him just to get his viewpoint but I don't like his style. I mean, I disagree 100% with Rush Limbaugh but I don't mind listening to him because he has an entertaining style of expressing himself. Savage is a screamer. I don't like screamers.

[LtJayson]

There have actually been cases where the catholic church refuses to allow children with celiacs or wheat intolerance to use a wafer made from alternative flour. Having been in the alternative med side of autism groups for years, in which alot of parents remove gluten (found in many grains) from their children's diets- it has been an issue that pops up from time to time.

 

That shows just how psycho they are! Gluten is literally poison to the body of a celiac...so they force them to either get sick or just not partake in something that they teach is essential. How do they explain that one? Sorry, getting a bit pissed, so I am ranting haha...but, I guess this is a rant and reply area.

[xrayman7040]

JAMES FUCKING DOBSON !!!!!!!!!! I just can't put my finger on why that pompous ass bugs me so much. Perhaps it's because whenever he's on his good buddy Sean Hannity's show, Sean always calls him "Dr. Dobson" for starters. Maybe it's because he looks like such a prick I don't know.

 

I do agree that Michael Savage is one of the biggest assholes that ever lived but I am not sure I would call him a fundie. I don't believe he's all that religious. I just don't get how such a mean spirited mother fucker can have so many people calling in and singing him these high praises like he is some kind of saint.

 

As far as actual preachers go, Bennie Hinn wins hands down, as he looks at the camera and says I have never lied to you ever and I don't use one dime of this money from this ministry for personal use.

[LtJayson]

haha...of course Hinn doesn't use one dime for personal use. That's too small, he prefers the actual dollar bills!

[R. S. Martin]

haha...of course Hinn doesn't use one dime for personal use. That's too small, he prefers the actual dollar bills!

 

Are you saying he deals in dollar bills??? The kinds of things I've read about him I thought it must be more in the line of hundred-dollar bills. But yeah, no dimes for his personal use.

 

When I was a kid you could buy a chocolate bar with a dime. Those were the days...

[Mongo]

Fuck! Decisions decisions!

 

Mongo

[Mysteries' Child]

I have to choose one?!?! Just one?!?!

 

I still have a personal beef against 'Brother Jerry.' He was a lying, distorting sack of crap. And he must have thought everyone else was stupid, too, or he wouldn't have put all that junk out there and expected folks to believe it. Oh, yeah-- If you went to see for yourself, you were in rebellion! You were supposed to just believe what Daddy Jerry told you. Just out of hand. That's right!

 

Pukewad. If he was sincere-- BIG IF-- I hope he died knowing just how many people he screwed up, and knowing it was too late to do anything about it.

 

I'm currently pretty bloody ticked at Rulon Jeffs and his boys. From what I've read, the FLDS had a decent thing-- not my thing, but not an indecent thing in terms of living as one sees fit-- going before those jerkwads came along. This business of marrying off 12-year-olds and chucking dissenters out in the street looks to be a Jeffs Thing. And I think I'd take up snuff just so I could spit some in their eyes. 'Cause using faith to manipulate and abuse people is JUST NOT RIGHT.

 

But I think my award would have to go to Dobson. Falwell and Jeffs are/were at least openly and blatantly screwed up so that anyone with a brain could see it. Mr. James Wolf-In-Sheep's-Clothing Dobson has manipulated thousands upon thousands of well-meaning parents into abusing their children without slipping up enough to give them cause to wonder whether they're really doing a loving thing. That man is dangerous to every Christian child his ministry touches.

[Vigile]

 

Oh, how this thread has inspired me.

 

Long story short, I'm pretty much amused by public fundies, including the "I hate fags" guy. It's hard to take them seriously. But when thinking about the question in the OP, I realized that I have one fundy who I truly do hate; well, maybe not hate, but at least feel disgust for his methods. Pastor Bob Hines, of the Boise Broadway Baptist Church.

 

I just checked their website - it's been a long, long time - to see if he was still pastor. Turns out he is retired, but this thread and the subsequent visit to the site of the church that caused my disillusion with xianity all those years ago brought back a lot of memories.

 

In any case, I promised to keep the story short. So, visiting the website I saw two things. First, the entire site is an example of the genius marketing that is Bob Hines, the fucking bastard fundy who happens to be the only one I can think of that I actually hate (well, he and a singles group leader in the same church named Tim) and secondly, they have a feedback form.

 

 

Here's my massively passive aggressive response to the feedback form. Members of this church are surely way, way too stupid to get the massive insult I just fed them, but I'm still laughing over it just the same:

 

Beautiful new website. It even has an online giving category. I recall when I first became a regular attendant way back in 1990 or 1991, it's been so long now I can't recall the exact year, I was given a gift from Pastor Bob a book about the wonderful blessings god would bestow upon me as I embraced the wonderful joys of giving unto the lord.

 

I recall the emotion and enthusiasm that Pastor Bob would instill in the congregation as he evoked god's blessing upon all those who would give. In fact, he used to preach with vociferous exultation "I love to preach about tithing!" It's true, he really did.

 

It's been a long, long time. I see now that Jeff, the former youth pastor has taken over giving Pastor Bob some time to enjoy the fruits of his labors.

 

Say Hi for me. I don't know if many will recall me. I was a regular attendant for about three years back in the early 1990s. My name is Don *** and I will be forever grateful for the lessons I learned while attending Broadway and enjoying the fellowship of my friends there.

 

I wish I could stop in for a visit, but I've come a long way since then and the journey back would be quite impossible at this point.

 

Best wishes,

 

Don

[xandermac]

I can't stand this crook Mike Murdock I also have a problem with Kenneth Copeland and his bitch, Joyce Meyer, and anyone else thats on TBN. Of course Benny Hinn too! My favorite Hinn video...

Does anyone else think Copeland has a gigantic head? He has no shoulders either. Whats up with that? Oh I forgot Creflo Dollar. I could go on and on. Jack Van Impe, Robert Schuller and his Crystal Cathedral...

[Vigile]

Sorry to sidetrack here, but since this thread inspired me, I've been spending some time on the website of my old church.

 

Check out this video for those who have the patience to watch it. I didn't think about it at the time (at least until the end) but this church under the pastor Bob Hines, is genius at marking strategies. Example from the vid "our children are the future of our church" and "where the children go, parents will follow." Watch this video in that context and you can see how a mega church is built as it's currently, it would seem, be in the process of being built.

 

The new pastor, Jeff, is a dweeb and a puppet (so if you want, skip the first half of the vid and move on to the presentation of the new megachurch plan). Bob Hines, the man now behind the scenes is Japedo (sorry J )

 

How is this presentation or the marketing research they mention therein any different from a sales pitch coming from a time share op?

 

http://www.babchurch.org/staff.htm

 

I apologize for the length, but it really is quite enlightening if you take the time to review it.

[Guest Zenobia]

Xandermac... OMFG that

was funny! Haven't laughed that hard in a LONG time! How can people be soooooo stoopid!!

 

Vigile... I didn't see your video - but the link took me to the smiling faces of your ex-pastors and I agree they are dweebs. I hate those big, bright, beautific smiles.. *shudder* Did you know that most mammals display their teeth as a show of aggression? Interesting....heh.

[Vigile]

Sorry, vid's here if anyone is interested: http://www.babchurch.org/newcampus.htm

[MathGeek]

I can't stand this crook Mike Murdock.

 

That's who I was trying to think of. Watched him on TBN once and he annoyed me to no end.

 

Thank you, xandermac.

[godlessgrrl]

Anita Bryant and Phyllis Schlafly are both on my list. Those two combined their religious bigotry with political activism; who knows what kind of damage they did to GLBT and womens' rights over the course of their careers?

 

Shirley Phelps-Roper is up there too. She's some kind of crazy.

 

I have little tolerance for women who collude with their own oppression, and even less for women who attempt to impose their misogyny on other women as well.

[LtJayson]

I can't stand this crook Mike Murdock.

 

Oh, I saw him on TV late one night while I was working 3rds. This guy was a freak! He started talking about "sowing a seed." Telling a story about giving a $100 gift to some TV preacher and the next day, some other minister bought him a $3000 suit! Come on! It made me sick! But, of course, I watched it anyway haha.

[Guest Zenobia]

Vigile - I tried to watch the video, but the combination of country music, the "driving down the road" scenes and the pictures swaying back and forth made me nauseous! I'm sorry you had to be associtated with those people At least now you are in Rossiya enjoying bowls of hot steaming borscht and blinchiki!!!

[Guest Zenobia]

Has anyone heard of these dudes?

 

Herbert W. Armstrong

 

Garner Ted Armstrong

[hereticzero]

Has anyone heard of these dudes?

 

Herbert W. Armstrong

 

Garner Ted Armstrong

Good gawd yes! I must have had at one time every book Herbert Twisted Armstrong wrote. He was a famous bullshit artist (advertising salesman) turned evangelist. My folks turned me on to his son's (Garner) magazine when I was a fundy and I absorbed it all in. I got so bad my mother told me she regretted giving me his church magazine. I did not, however, believe his prophecies since he had a 0% success rate. Thankfully I deconverted from the fuck-tard's theology early on.

 

These guys pull the end time scenarios out of their asses just like Tim LaHaye--who is scary enough (https://timlahaye.com/).

[Deva]

Mention of Ted Armstrong brings to mind a book my parents had by fundy John R. Rice (probably published in the late 50s) where he listed some of the heresies in Christianity and Armstrong was one of them. Armstrong was a heretic along with the Catholic Church and other various denominations that were in error. Each one got a chapter where Rice went through everything that was wrong with them. Typical fundy approach.

 

Oddly, Tim LaHaye and his outrageous crap was considered to be true Christianity. I remember my folks had one of his books on sex in marriage. There was hardly any sex to be found in it.

[Mysteries' Child]

Anita Bryant and Phyllis Schlafly are both on my list. Those two combined their religious bigotry with political activism; who knows what kind of damage they did to GLBT and womens' rights over the course of their careers?

 

Shirley Phelps-Roper is up there too. She's some kind of crazy.

 

I have little tolerance for women who collude with their own oppression, and even less for women who attempt to impose their misogyny on other women as well.

 

Oooohhh, I'd forgotten those two stupid twats. My grandmother subscribed to all that shit. Even though I never recall her outrightly teaching it to me, little pitchers have big ears and all. I internalized that shit and it damn near destroyed my marriage.

 

Can you imagine my husband growing up around a bunch of extreme feminists, thinking a man has to kiss a woman's ass if he wants to keep her, and me growing up around this shit, thinking a woman has to kiss a man's ass to be a good woman?? It was probably really funny from the road over. From inside, I still don't know if we're going to survive it.

 

Someone should tell those twats that...

 

...but of course they'd just blame the rest of our culture.

 

Ugh. It's not even about [God]. It's about worshipping some point of view, some fantasy world.

 

Isn't that blasphemy?? In their own damn belief system, isn't that blasphemy??

[xandermac]

Has anyone heard of these dudes?

 

Herbert W. Armstrong

 

Garner Ted Armstrong

 

I remember watching Ted when I was a kid. Have you heard of this guy from the same church?Ronald Weinland He says that he and his wife are the 2 witnesses from Revelations and that the seventh seal has been opened and the first trumpet has been blown. I'm SKEERED!

[Vigile]

Vigile - I tried to watch the video, but the combination of country music, the "driving down the road" scenes and the pictures swaying back and forth made me nauseous! I'm sorry you had to be associtated with those people At least now you are in Rossiya enjoying bowls of hot steaming borscht and blinchiki!!!

 

It was years and years ago and I was young and stupid and the girls there were pretty. I have nothing but bad, bad memories of that place though. I've been to many churches in my day and that particular one was far and away the most warped and the congregation by far the most brainwashed zombis christiandom can produce.

 

They considered me the black sheep of the flock because I dared to have questions about thier eternal salvation position (bunch of scripture parsing, control obsessive loons they were). I refused to get baptised there since I had already done so at another church when I was 10yo. They pressured me every week to re-dunk because my first one was done in that devilish, misguided Nazarene church. When I left they talked about me behind my back telling everyone that I was confused and on the run from the lord - and I hadn't even deconverted yet. I moved on to another church for a year before that happened.

 

I'll tell you a truly horrific story. While attending this church I lived in a household with 5 other single men from their congregation. We were refered to as the MOGs (Men of God). There was another group of girls that used to come over and "fellowship" with us. We called them the WOGs. It was some eerie, messed up, died-in-the-wool cultish shit.

 

At the MOG house, we had a bum who lived in the back of his tiny beaten down camper truck in our driveway for two years. During the day this long-haired Jesus looking character would harrass people passing out tracts and telling them that the true church had been lost. He had been kicked out of every church in town for telling them that they had the bible all wrong. I kind of liked him. He was nuttier than a fruitcake, but at least he thought for himself.

 

He had printed bible tracts on untearable paper. This paper was seriously strong. I was a pretty strong guy back then and I couldn't tear it. He did it because after harrassing passerbyers they would sometimes make a display of tearing the tracts in his face. The bumge (gotta throw in some Russian here for fun) got the last laugh

[Guest Zenobia]

Gah... Vigile, is the MOG anything like the MIB (Men In Black)? LOL... I have this image of dudes in black suits. The bumge sounds cool A lot of times, "bums" or "street punks" have a lot more going on intellectually than the supposedly "successful" people. Granted, they have some serious issues and they are mental sometimes, but at least they tend to be who they are...

 

Glad you escaped from all that bullshit. Feels good to be free, don't it? Believe it or not, I started leaving my church while I was living in Russia. I had to go to Russia (the Soviet Union at that time!!) to find freedom, LOL!

 

Chasslivo!