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Goodbye Jesus

You Know You're An Ex-c When...


pug

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51. You are thankful that crazy fundies post on this site because it reinforces that you made the right decision when you left the cult.

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52. You go out of your way to have a True Christian™ deliver a prayer to his God on behalf of (a) loved one(s), and you get the same results that you did when you used to be a Christian™ yourself.

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53. You are happy that Pug started this thread!

 

54. You are convinced that someone who claims to be married to Jesus and then says their relationship isn't without problems is in need of a good psychiatrist.

 

55. You became a Christian for emotional reasons, but became an apostate for rational and logical reasons.

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Ok Pug I see exactly what you are doing. I see this thread getting locked soon . That is what this now you are trying to do full blown attacks on us. It isn't going to work buddy.

 

Nah. This is the Lion's Den and Pug just threw himself to the lions. His little attack backfired on him. However, should he decide to make his attacks any more personal, he will find himself on vacation for a while. Funny how the "meek little christian" suddenly turns and their true "fuck you non-christian" selves come out, isn't it? I think this thread is a fine example.

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Celtic Cat I understand what you say and agree with you. It just seems this thread was orginally intended as a parody of the other thread "You know you're a Fundy when....." However I see the tables really have turned on this thread and backfired on Pug. So I like this thread now it gets quite amusing.

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You know you're an ex-Christian when:

 

19. You have to endure hours of proselytizing from your Christian friends and family, but 5 minutes of you talking about why you disagree with Christianity and have left it in the first place is "inappropriate" for open discussion or, worse, merely a sign of rebellion rather than a heartfelt and painstaking decision that you did not make overnight. In either case, your genuine feelings on the matter are completely ignored in favour of a pack mentality.

 

EXCELLENT!!!

 

You know you're an exC when....

 

56. Truth matters more than "what people think."

 

57. You give up trying to twist your brain to make sense of a myth that was not intended to make sense but everyone says it's TRUTH personified.

 

58. You enjoy Christmas for its mythical value--it shows in live vivid colours how people live out myth and think it's true.

 

59. Watching Christians observe Christmas and Easter (and odd days of the week become statutary holidays because of a myth) helps you better understand the sacred rites of some Amazonian or African jungle society.

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60. You think "oh God" (Scuse the pun) everytime your Xtian relations mention "the word" or "relationship with God" or just generally try to steer the conversation onto the topic of religion....

 

61. You keep on making up excuses as to why you can't go to your Xtian neighbour's youthclub/barn dance/babercue etc....

 

62. You feel like asking the Vicar why he can't keep the noise of the Churchbells down when you're trying to enjoy a well deserved lie in on a Sunday morning...

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63. You hear christians say really stupid things and you say to yourself "OMG! I used to say that!"

 

64. You realize that your fear of damnation and poverty for not going to church and giving away your time and financial resources is unfounded.

 

65. You're more refreshed on a Monday morning because you actually rested on Sunday for a change.

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66. You have to lie and say you are sick because you don't want to go to church.

 

67. You are open minded

 

68. You treat people as equals and everyone should have rights even gay people which you never thought should before

 

69. You write in the church Bibles how you feel

 

70. When forced to go to church, you sleep

 

71. On Communion day the only reason you came for was free food.

 

72. You threw away all your Christian belongings except the Bible for refernece reasons

 

73. You compare Santa to God

 

74. You no longer listen to Christian music

 

71. You laugh at Pug because this thread did not go the way he wanted

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72. By way of showing her love for you your mom tells you in somber tones that: Hell is real. She just sort of slides that into a conversation. It took me a while to clue in to what she was actually doing. I was nowhere near her anymore by that time but it makes me seeth even today.

 

73. When "we know the world will end some day" has no more meaning than "thunder showers are predicted for tomorrow" you must be an exC or something other than fundy.

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74. You believe in The Bible that God has done more harm than good.

 

75. You realize that you were an idiot for following a cult.

 

76. You do not believe in the monkey God :woohoo:

 

77. You watch Passion of the Christ and start busting out laughing

 

78. At the pastors funeral you start eating popcorn

 

79. You think 15 year old virgins should not have children ( The Nativity Story movie)

 

80. You jerk off and not afraid of God watching you :wicked:

 

81. Can look at porn without no guilt at all.

 

82. Not depressed you failed God

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83. You know you're an ex-christian when you understand that these are all the same:

 

 

post-389-1169581424.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

post-389-1169581488.jpg

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

post-389-1169581517_thumb.jpg

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Mythra that second one is the famous monkey God. that Pug was talking about People actually believe in a monkey God? Yep Religion is the number 1 reason of humanites downfall. :twitch::lmao::lmao::lmao:

 

Now that is a classic, PUG BELIEVES IN A MONKEY GOD? OMG THIS IS SO FUNNY! A MONKEY AS A GOD :lmao: and I thought Christianity was absurd this is so funny. I have tears in my eyes this so funny.

 

Monkey God-1 Jesus H. Christ-0 Monkey God gets point for orginality.

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Well, at least we're keeping Jesus occupied.

 

Cause every time Pug has to endure ridicule, Jesus is forced to build another wing on to Pug's mansion in heaven.

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Hey now...if we would have taken a different evolutionary path, our God Almighty would have looked like the picture below. After all, we create God in our own image.

mourning_trinity__throne_of_god__detail_1_XX_the_hermitage_s_copy.jpg

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porter_magnet_super%20monkey.jpg

 

VS

 

family-jesus-guy.jpg

 

 

 

84. You can't help but laugh people actually believe in a God that is a monkey.

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85. You don't use the word "atheist" as a verb anymore even if you are not an atheist.

 

86. You spell it "evolution" now and not "evilution"

 

87. You understand that science is NOT a religion or a belief.

 

88. ...nor is atheism.

 

89. You have better morals than you ever did as a Christian.

 

90. You understand it's NOT a Personal relationship with Jesus Christ, it's a religion.

 

91. When you take the time and trouble to explain where Christians interpreation of the Bible is at fault, you are told that either you took it out of context or that you can't possibly understand the Bible because you're not a Christian and never were in the first place.

 

93. You have to explain over and over and over again to Christians who come to this site that this is not Atheist.net it's Ex-Christian.net.

 

94. People accuse you of leaving the faith because you have been hurt by so many Christians who were never really True Christians.

 

95. When you tell them you didn't leave the faith because you were hurt by Christians, they tell you of all the ways they were hurt by other Christians (who really are not True Christains) but they still believe in Jesus.

 

96. People accuse you of being mad at god otherwise you never would have left the faith.

 

97. When you tell them you are not in anyway mad at god, they don't believe you and insist you are mad at god.

 

Who wants to go for 100!

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Well, at least we're keeping Jesus occupied.

 

Cause every time Pug has to endure ridicule, Jesus is forced to build another wing on to Pug's mansion in heaven.

 

Hey! Jesus is actually good for something??? Who'd have thunk it! Guess that training in carpentry is finally being used.

 

 

Oh, excuse me. I meant to spell it as "Jay-zuss" or maybe as "Jesus Fucking Christ," now that I know that ticks off some people. :wicked:

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You mean Jesus Fucking Christ can do something besides sit there and watch humanity suffer and not answer prayers? Nawwwwwww

 

Jesus can crawl on all fours and bark like a dog and eat his own shit for all I care. What else can I say Jesus is just a fucking man for crying out loud....or he was a monkey. Pug you are worshiping a man, not even God.

 

I am God...do you believe me,of course not why do you believe Jesus Fucking Christ. I am man he is man whats the difference honestly?

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woah! woah!

 

pug - if you've got this far in the post - I think you're OK.

 

Sure, you fucked up with this post, but hang in there buddy, I like reading your stuff. You're on the ropes, you're taking a beating, but keep the gloves up, tuck the chin in.

 

Honestly, I don't want for you to get riled by all this. Use that thick skin. I like you pug, and I don't want you to take your ball and leave the playground.

 

I don't agree with you, but I do like you. Don't let this abuse get you down. It's the lion's den and the cats are feeding

 

regards

 

Stew

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98. You have made Pug turn blue in the face by post 20

 

99. You have thrown everything in the face of a Christian of what you once believed.

 

I won't do 100 I want to see a good one for 100. Plus Stew I think Pug did this to himself anyway I don't feel sorry for him one bit. He created this thread in the first place to attack us, but it went the other way around.

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Jesus%20Dance%20Whites.jpg

 

Jesus- I knew what was going to happen to this thread, but my True Christian Pug never learns.

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1. You imply you are a Christian... but also a non-Christian.

 

I can't really address this one. I've seen OpenMinded openly admit to being a Christian. Because OpenMinded disagrees with you, OpenMinded is automatically an ex-Christian? Strange. This is one of the reasons many of have left Christianity: we have not yet met two Christians that agree on what a Christian is. Sure, they may agree on a few things, but as it stands, there is apparently only one True Christian in existence, and that is everyone claiming to be a Christian. Mind-boggling.

 

So, this one does not qualify. That shortens the list to NINE.

 

2. A leap into the unknown is... a leap into the unknown.

 

Any leap into the unknown is a leap into the unknown, regardless of what said leaper believes. If the fact that one whom admits that a leap into the unknown is a leap into the unknown makes them an ex-Christian, then I don't suppose I have problem with that. Honesty is a good thing. So I'll accept this one, but reword it to say:

 

1. You are honest with yourself about your feelings toward Christianity.

 

3. Any response not pleasing to you must be mocked or refuted violently or else you'll be less honest to yourself.

 

'Or else you'll be less honest to yourself'? Uhh . . . we'll disregard that one because it makes absolutely no sense, and instead focus on the first half of the sentence. What's wrong with this example? You take the supposed actions of TWO people, and let them represent EVERYONE.

 

Using your logic, I can say that all Christians are like Hitler because Hitler claimed to be a Christian. Ergo, pug, you are like Hitler. Not very reasonable, is it? I didn't think so. So we're going to cross this one out as well, seeing as how not all ex-Christians behave in the manner listed above. So the count is still . . . one.

 

4. You need not thow a fit when a Christian-like response (which is always bad) is directed at you - you respond like Mr. A and HanSolo - commendable to the nth degree.

 

What the hell is a 'Christian-like response'? Oh, wait . . . don't tell me. It's when someone farts rainbows, shits haloes, and every word that leaveth their mouth is a butterfly on wings of pure light? Gimme a freakin' break. If you bend over any farther to kiss your own ass, your spine is going to snap apart. pug, I think you have a good heart in you somewhere, but this list just shpws how assinine you can be when you want to make up the rules as you go along and people stop you in your tracks and say, 'uh-uh'.

 

So we're going to throw this one out, too, because you haven't defined what a 'Christian-like response' is, and since we all know better than to give into your ego-maniacal masturbating. You need to grow the hell up, pug. Having had a PM conversation with you, I know you have sense, and doing this shows that you still have something to learn.

 

5. You are not terrified (anymore) to curse any god properly in its/their proper name(s).

 

. . . nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnot necessarily there, puggy-boy. Ex-Christians can still be beleivers. There's more'n one God out there. This might make someone an atheist, but not an ex-Christian.

 

6. You don't need to ask any body to pray on your (or your relative's) behalf.

 

See above.

 

7. You have no religion to speak of, but God, so proud of your new found freedom.

 

See response to item five.

 

8. You self-appoint yourself to defend all Ex-Cs.

 

This one just makes my brain hurt. This tells me you're angry that we team up on you. Well, guess what? That's what this website is for. It's a support network for ex-Christians. But that does not mean we self-appoint to be defenders of all ex-Christians.

 

9. You wait and demand for a reply from non-Ex-Cs.

 

*sigh* Wrong again. Some non-Ex-Cs (as you put it) were never Christian to begin with. They could be atheist. So why would we wait for responses from people we agree with?

10. You love fundies to bits, because without them to make fun of, hey, what else is there?

 

And last, but not least, wrong. Someone need not be fundamentalist in their beliefs to be made fun of. There are plenty of idiots that do not follow a set of rules.

 

So from this, we have garned one item: that being honest about your feelings towards Christianity make you an ex-Christian. Very good, pug. Now I should wonder: what the hell is your problem with our integrity?

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2. A leap into the unknown is... a leap into the unknown.

 

I think I'd like to talk about this a little more, since Pug got this from one of my posts.

 

Pug: have you been a christian a long time? From most of your posts, I gather that you're a relatively recent convert.

 

I converted to christianity in 1978. And I escaped two years ago. That's 27 years, Pug. 27 years. You really have no idea at all how much junk can enter your brain in 27 years. Escaping from christianity was very, VERY tough. And, it absolutely was a leap into the unknown.

 

Of course, now I realize how silly the whole thing is. But, I didn't two years ago.

 

"Why Won't God Heal Amputees" has a pretty good chapter on terror. This exerpt sums up what it's like, and what it was like for me:

 

First, you may be terrified because you have believed in the religion of Christianity -- and all of its accoutrements such as Jesus, prayer, blessings, the Bible, etc. -- your entire life. Having it all shown to be a total farce is terrifying. It is something akin to being married to and trusting someone for 30 years, and then discovering that your spouse is having an affair. It is terrifying. It is infuriating. And it is embarrassing. How could you have believed in something so long when it is so obviously and provably false? Once you kick your cheating spouse out, however, terror may sink in. What happens next? You've been with this person for 30 years, and now there is a huge hole in your life.

 

The second reason why you might be feeling terror is more insidious: You may be terrified of what God might now do to you. Even though you have proven to yourself that God does not exist, you still fear him. You are terrified of an imaginary being.

 

That second form of terror -- that fear of God -- should tell you something. Think about what is happening in your mind. You are afraid that, if you do not believe in God and worship him, that he will somehow reach down from heaven and punish you. You are afraid that God will curse you for the rest of your life.

 

That's right -- if God actually were to exist, you are afraid that this all-loving being will do you harm. Let the absurdity of that fear sink in for a moment. It's absurdity should show you just how imaginary God is. Why would an "all-loving" being want to do you harm?

 

What in the world is that fear? Why do you feel that fear? It is because this fear has been programmed into your brain since childhood.

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Madame M,

 

Did you miss Amy Marie are nutty fundy who made Erotic Jesus art, said she married Jesus in a ceremony and then admitted their were problems in their relationship? She was looking forward to an afterlife in Heaven where she and Jesus would literally consumate their marriage.

 

Taph

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