[Seeking]

Many of you have probably already seen this, but I just came across it and thought it summed up so well what I (and many of us) have been going through. I only wish I had the courage to send something like this to my family and friends!

Thoughts? Comments? Similar experiences?

[Fuego]

I think my wife and I are getting closer to something like that ourselves. A close friend just asked me to re-interpret a Christian dream I emailed to her a few years ago. I did, and explained that we tend to dream about the things we dwell upon, and our subconscious can weave interesting tales out of our emotional issues. Then I shared a more recent dream that had me standing firm in my rejection of the old way.

She said that she doesn't see me on the "outside", just see me in a different context since our previous long conversations were all steeped in Jesus. I expect a mixed bag of reactions from the families we have known for years. Some will grieve, some will preach even more, some will see that we haven't really changed as people.

[Citsonga]

I liked the way they handled the letter, stating where they are at in their journey of life, acknowledging that they no longer believe things they used to believe, and yet not bashing those who still believe.

I haven't bothered coming out to very many as a nonbeliever. After a recent exchange with my Father-in-law (which I've posted on this board), I wouldn't be surprised if the info will be making its rounds relatively soon. So, I suspect that a similar letter may eventually be in order for me.

[ElrondHubbard]

That is really similar to what I have experienced - almost eerily so. Unfortunately, most of my old Christian friends still don't really "get it," no matter how it's phrased.

[Citsonga]

ElrondHubbard, on 14 February 2010 - 12:09 AM, said:

Unfortunately, most of my old Christian friends still don't really "get it," no matter how it's phrased.

True. Most people can't really "get" something they haven't experienced for themselves. Most christians who haven't gone through the studying and questioning that leads to the realization that christianity isn't true simply can't grasp where people like us are coming from.

Similarly, those who weren't raised with religion often don't "get" how otherwise rational people can fervently believe in silly religious nonsense, such as formerly those of us here who have come from strong dogmatic indoctrination and only later in life began to question it.

This post has been edited by Citsonga: 14 February 2010 - 12:31 AM

[Vomit Comet]

I'm so glad I only have my brother to worry about. If I came from a full-blown fundie family, I'd... well, I'd probably be a lot more fucked up than I already am.

[dichotomy]

I thought it was a good letter and pretty brave! I'm no where near ready for that yet. I am intending on writing to my family at some point just to make it clear for them but I think they've already pickd up that I'm not longer a *believer*.

My husband did write something on facebook once though, stating that we nolonger wish to be invited along to any church meetings or other related christian events unless they are of a personal nature (e.g. weddings, dedications etc.). We only got one response on his post, and only one person has mentioned it to us since! Not sure if they just don't care or don't know how to react but it makes me more anxious about writing what we *really* think.

Thankfully, I have quite a lot of non xian friends so they don't care what I believe, but unfortunately all our family except my brother in law are full on xians whoop whoop.

Oh and no, people don't *get* it, whether they are xians or not, the only people who *get* it are those who have been through it in some way or another.

[HRDWarrior]

I started with a letter to those who I thought would take the most exception to where I was going. It was a good decision, I think, since it allowed me to express things similarly to the link posted without dealing with the inevitable interruptions and arguments. For several months (at least) I kept religion off topic with those I felt would be the most bothered by it, namely my mother.

Just recently (as in the last week) it's come out into the open with her that I'm atheist. She had a couple questions, which I responded to, but overall it's feeling pretty good right now. I think the letter allowed her (and me) some time to adjust to the change and learn that our relationship could continue despite those differences. In fact, if anything, this has now allowed us to be ourselves with each other - she can still talk about her feelings regarding christianity and such, while at the same time understanding that I don't believe it. As I told her just this morning, yes, I don't believe it, but I still spent a majority of my life in it, so I can at least understand her feelings and what she is talking about. It was kinda the final step for us, and now we can pretty much just be ourselves with each other knowing where the other is coming from.

Prior to this I had listed myself as agnostic borderline deist and that was as far as she knew. The letter has not only allowed our relationship to continue without the christian guise but it also gave me a little more time to work through my own beliefs, evidence, and thoughts without bombardment of theological discussions. I'm sure it's still bothersome for her on a certain level, but it has made our relationship that much more honest, which I appreciate.